Curse of Pizarro

Chapter 11~ Hopeless Hopefuls

A single beam of light broke through the curtains onto my face. The sun must barely be breaking through the city scape. Turning my head I see Jez sleeping soundly beside me. Peering over her, I can't make out Juan's figure in the other bed.

Slightly lifting my head, I can see now that the covers are crumpled and no one lies underneath them.

I get up to see if he could be in the bathroom, but the door was open and the lights were off. I go over to the night stand beside his bed and see a note with some of the worst handwriting I have ever seen. This is from a girl who has brothers that might as well be writing tally's over and over again instead of actual letters. It read: Heidi, I went to go get breakfast. I'll be back before Jezebel wakes up. -Juan.

Looking over at Jez I think to myself that he could be gone for a while then. I take the opportunity to hop into the shower and wake myself up. As my brain begins to function properly, I replay the events of last night in my head.

My mind kept returning to the honey colored eyes that said more to me than they should have last night. His eyes showed me more about what he thought inside than he could have ever said out loud. He was so much more terrified than he let on, and his eyes mesmerized me. They made me feel so important, and I honestly thought his eyes were mesmerized by my eyes just as much. I started to feel a little giddy inside.

Then I remembered who those eyes belonged to, and I paused my entire thought process. Rewinding to the general fact that I had a meeting with Drake last night I remembered how stupid that was. So many things could have gone wrong. I make a promise to myself to never put myself in that kind of situation with Drake again.

Getting out of the shower the fogged up mirror inhibits me from seeing my reflection. Wrapping a towel securely around my body, I run my hand in a diagonal motion across the reflective surface. I stare at my face and see my dark brown eyes looking back at me. My wet hair goes every which way, and my bangs aren't much better. This is a face that has held in many emotions, and thoughts, and I felt it starting to crack.

Since I was little, I had learned that to be myself, I had to grow a thick skin to keep out the people that can't accept me for who I am. Every now and again, my skin outer skin becomes brittle, and I'm overcome with emotions. This is especially true when I'm tired. It just makes the cracks bigger.

My fear of failure has been building up for a while now and it's starting to mess with my head. I'm terrified of failing Jez, my best friend in the entire world. After the stupid stunt I pulled last night, I almost did. I wasn't cut out for this life!  How am I going to get through the rest of the summer like this? I can't fail important things like people I care about.

What if I'm just the stupid girl that falls for the enemy's tricks and leads to everyone's downfall? This is eighth all over again, with much bigger consequences. That's it, I stop thinking about the entire subject altogether and push it to the back of my mind. Getting worked up over this won't help the situation.

I put on my clothes and walk into the bedroom. Jez still sleeps peacefully in the bed and Juan is no where to be seen. Great, no one to distract me from my self destructive path.

Going to the window, I see the city never went to sleep last night. Memories of Bangkok and Beijing flash through my mind. No matter the time, those cities always had a pulse when the rest of the world remained silent in the dead of night. God how I miss being just another tourist. I've been to five different continents, and I've always been so care free, never feeling afraid of the people walking beside me. Now I know I can't wear my heart on my sleeve, and enemies are everywhere.

The door creaks open behind me. I whip around, my heart thudding against my chest to see Juan come in. I let out my breath and lean against the cool glass, "Where were you?"