Today has been okay. It is a Saturday so no school. Instead I had football training which was a laugh. Tend to enjoy football training. Football helps me realize my anger. It is something I look forward to during the week. Tomorrow is my first match in ages. Weather causing waterlogged pitches. Because it is my first game in 4 weeks I hope I am not overly aggressive and get sent off. That wouldn't be good. I found out that some girl likes me last night. Which I fine really sweet and I am touch by but there is one problem. I like someone else. I don't want to hurt her either. I decided that I am not going to come up with some bullshit excuses, that I am going to give her genuine reasons such as: my mental state, that I like someone else and that I would cause too much stress and harm. Which being 100% honest. I can imagine that I am a handful. I still want to be friends with this girl as she is very kind and sweet. Her personality is amazing.
But on the other side of this argument this girl I like I know I have no chance will. I know people say you think like that and it is going to end up like that. I also know that girls say they like a confident man. Think about this though she is really beautiful girl. I not a man who just stares at their body either. Admittedly she has a nice body and a beautiful face but what is inside her counts too. She is intelligent, funny, kind, caring, I could go on but; and this is always a but. She likes someone else. I don't know the kid. Never seen a picture of him. I know he properly is an attractive boy. Good hair and body. All that shit girls like etc. So I know I have no chance. It is playing on my mind though. I don't want to tell her as it might ruin our friendship and I think that is the furthest our "status" would be. I want her as well but...... I don't want that nuclear explosion to go off in our friendship and destroy it. What do I do?
