This is an additional thought, obviously as I mention earlier today. Sunday's are a relax day usually. So I just play xbox, eat and drink. So by doing this I have a lot of time to think which is bad for me because I usually over think at times like this. Usually I think of stuff such as:
-Girls. -Grades.
-University. -Future - jobs, wife, kid.
-Friends. -Stupid things that pop up
-Family. -What is actually wrong with me.
So as you can imagine this can be very stressful. Overall stressful and it doesn't help me one bit. All that going on in one persons head is too much. People don't realise it is like a mind map going off into branches then sub branches then twigs. So confusing. My mind palace as Sherlock would say. I think I'll start at the beginning so girls. When I think of girls, I think of my ex Lucy. I think of the girl I like and every word I could use to describe her and whoever has her in the future is lucky. The girl who likes me and how kind and sweet she is just I am not in the right place for her but my head feels it is in the right place to like someone. Amazing! Not... Then I think of what my wife will be like. Will I actually get married look at me I'm ugly. Then I think how I will meet them.
Next thing of the list is, University. This is my last year at college and in some ways I can't wait to leave and get rid of some of these people from my life but I know some of them I do like I am unlikely to see them again. Which makes me generally sad. Going to uni I am worried people there will treat me the same as they do here. Like a fool. Take advantage of my emotions and when I'm broken throw me to the side and leave me there to rot.
Friends. I am surprised myself that I have any friends. I surprised but so happy. The people I speak to on a daily occurrence will forever be in my heart! If I never see them after college. I will always remember them! I forever love them! For some of them who are hurt themselves to help me through this rough patch makes them an amazing person in my point of view. I try to help them obviously, it is not just a one way street. There are other amazing people in my life who people called weird because they are different! They make me sick! The same people who make me feel the way I do and other people! But it will be funny because hopefully they do shit in life. Being 100% honest! Hate is a strong word but bloody hate them! They are the low lives! The worse of the worse!
Yes I've only gone through 3 but it is late and I will properly go through them any other time. Thanks for reading see you tomorrow!
