Today has been so shit. Worse day in 2014 by far. I though it was going reasonably well but that one moment that changes your whole moan and look on the day happen. When I got home I didn't know whether to scream or cry. I was so angry at first so I went with that I hit stuff, punched my bed etc. I was meant to going out to do my paper round so I had to be quick. Just as I was ready to go downstairs the crying came. First I have actually cried in ages. I have felt like crying before but because I'd every other day it felted like my ability to cry had gone, but today it came... I lay on my bed curled up into a ball, cried for 5 minutes, wiped my eyes. Got fully dressed and walk downstairs and got my waterproof, got my papers and walked out the door. While doing my paper round I was listen to music. Music talking about everything I was thinking. When your feelings get crushed because of something you hear or someone says to you it hurts if it is coming from a boy but when a girl acts or says something that crushes you; that cuts me deep. Very deep. It kills and it still kills as I write this. I had to drop the thoughts of harming myself. It is always me I swear! These are always the situation that happen:
- I like an attractive girl who sometimes speaks to me but sets herself to a high standard of boys.
- A girl likes me who has a great personality but I'm either a) not attractive to them or b0 emotionally messed up.
- I date a girl who turns out to be a complete twat/ personality of a gold fish/ messed up like myself.
