Torn Up (Harry Styles/Bullying)

Chapter 18

Harry's POV:


"I love you," Sandra whispered.

She loved me? The minute the words rolled off her lips the fire burning through my body died down and ignited something else. I felt like I wasn't really there, it was almost like a dream. I wanted to hear her say the words again, that's how perfect they sounded coming off of her lips.

Everything for me just went numb, her saying those words meant so much to me. And I didn't care that I only have known her for a few days, I felt the same way.

Another tear rolled down my cheek out of pure happiness.

"Sandra?" I murmured.

"Hmm?"

"I love you too."

And with that I fell into a deep sleep smiling like a complete idiot.




Sandra's POV:

My heart hammered in my chest.

"I love you too."

The words made my stomach do mini flips. He felt the same way? He heard me? I felt giddy, as a never ending smile found it's way to my lips. I looked over at the beautiful boy smiling a goofy grin next to me. Soft breaths escaped his lips, and I noticed he looked younger when he slept.


Love, I was in love with a curly haired boy who had finally showed me some light. He made me happy and I was finally acting like me again.

It was just that deep down I knew that, I still was broken, there were just some things I didn't think he could fix.

My past haunted me; reminding me who I was. The grin on my mouth was gone as quickly as it came. Harry could help ease the pain but he couldn't get it to diminish completely.

I felt my wrists start to tingle, needing to cut open. I rolled up my sleeves at a stop sign and looked at the pink scars. There were so many and that was just my wrist. No one had ever seen the ones on my stomach and thighs.


I couldn't relapse, I was finally clean, for almost a week! But I had to, I could feel it. I had hurt the one and only thing I loved, and the boy bleeding next to me proved it. I drove faster eager to get to his house and search for a weapon to make lines on my wrists.

I turned the radio on and tried to take my mind off the bad things for now. I didn't want to think of what I was about to do to myself again. But Harry's 4 words repeated in my head, keeping me sane.


* * *

"Harry," I shook his shoulder softly. He wasn't moving, I groaned. I unbuckled my seatbelt and unbuckled Harry's. I got out of the car and went to his side and pulled him out. He rested his whole body on mine as I dragged him to his house. Once again I fished through his bloody pockets that were started to crust a deep maroon. I found his house keys and unlocked the door, one arm supporting Harry.


I managed to get him inside and situated on the couch. I headed to the bathroom and got a ton of first aid things. I first cleaned up all the blood off his pretty face and exposed body parts. Then I took an anti-bacteria spray and cleaned every cut or scrap he had. I put a lot of bandages on and he was almost himself again.

Taking two steps at a time, I ran up to his bedroom, I grabbed an oversized shirt, some socks and sweats. It might seem weird but I had to change him. The smell of dried up blood was clinging to everything and made my head spin. I took off his pants and wiped off some more blood that had seeped through. I shimmed up his pants and then put on his socks. I then took off his blood encrusted shirt and gasped.

He was beat up and had cuts and bruises that were huge but that didn't shock me. He had tattoos. And man they were gorgeous. I had seen some of them before but not all of them and these were breathtaking. I could tell each one had a purpose and I was excited to find out every one of them. I cleaned his torso enjoying the feeling of his abs on my hand.

After a while I decided I needed to finish getting him dressed so I pulled on his shirt and tucked him in with a blanket. Next to the couch I laid him on was a table, so I put two pain-killers and a glass of water on that table.

I sat next to him and whispered again,"I love you," before kissing his forehead. It was adorable to watch him smile and his facial features relax. I loved the fact that I had that affect on him.

I watched the boy I loved for a few more minutes before I headed back to the bathroom to do my own thing.


Soon enough after rummaging through the cabinets I found it, a razor. I knew it had to be done, I felt the need growing in the pit of my stomach.

You deserve it.

You deserve it.

You deserve it.

I rolled up my sleeve and placed the cold razor to my pink skin.
I was going to do it, I wouldn't be clean anymore. I pushed and pulled slightly.The burn in my wrist stung, but it felt so good.

I needed that.

I did it again, watching the blood slowly ooze out. I deserved this. I started to cry, tears rolled down my cheeks. I tried wiped my tears away with my finger, but they kept coming.

Harry was hurt because of me.

Slice.

Harry was bleeding because of me.

Slice.

Harry was broken because of me.

Slice.

Harry was bullied because of me.

Slice.

Harry would have to go through this again.

Slice.

Before I knew it I had a ton of tiny lines on my arm. I looked at them in awe. I had wrote out the word worthless on my arm.

Boy was that true.

The pain spread through my arm like a wildfire; but it felt so good. I was about to start my other arm when a beautiful voice echoed in the bathroom.

"Sandy?"

"C-coming!" I shouted back frantically. I held my wrist under the running water, pain immediately shot up my arm. I gritted my teeth together to keep from screaming as the cold water hit my cuts. I pulled my sleeve back up quickly and sprinted out of the bathroom down the hall to Harry.


{A/N:

okay so I don't believe in self harm at all and I have never done it, but if you ever need someone to talk to I will talk to you and help you through it (:

sorry for not updating I was trying to get a few more comments but nobody was commenting!

don't be a ghost reader vote/comment/ fan whatever you want!

thanks so much I love you guys, I almost have 1.6k already like woah!

have a good day or night or afternoon<3}