//Rated T- M, reader discretion advised//
Trigger Warning: suicide attempts
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I thought back to that day. My memory began replaying that memory as if to taunt me . "It was after I banished my mum to limbo. I remeber Jessie wouldn't stop crying and my dad would be all over her while I ended up looking like the bad guy.I did it after school, at an abandoned beach where i figured no one would show up, with some normal meds my dad had bought."
I kept replaying the memory in my head. The feeling of hopelessness, of fear, the feeling of my brain turning itself inside out trying to find every single bit of self doubt and self hatred that would make me want to do it more. I remeber looking down at those tiny white pills, knowing that i was playing death. I was planning to leave sooner than i was supposed to, and i was fully aware of the consequences.
"Wait so did they not go through your system?" Andi asked confused.
"No, they did." I stated, thinking back to me bringing the painkillers up to my mouth and swallowing them whole. I rmember fading away, thinking i was finally going to be set free from this world of absolute torture. Then, i woke up. In a bright white room, surrounded by nurses.
"This guy found me and took me to the hospital. This time my dad wasn't in town so his secretary played the bill and he never found out. So it all turned out alright I guess" i shrugged as if i wasnt telling her that i had attempted to end my life
Andi's POV
He started making his leg jump, something i quickly picked up on as being an anxious habit.
"Jax, why dont you get some-" i stopped knowing what would happen if i said the "h word"
"- type of talk with your dad or something?" Smooth save andi. "Or does he know?"
"He knows. Not like he cares. He basically sent me to the doctors and gave me a pre printed Get Better card while i talked to a middle aged lady about why i was there as if she didnt already know the answer. Worst months of my life."
I decided that our talk should probably end now as it was starting to get late and i didnt exactly want to walk home when the only light out was the street lamps and still- burning cigarettes.
"I think im gonna go."
"Do you want a ride?" Jax offerred and i figured 'Why not'
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National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
YOU ARE READING
Mistakes.
FanfictionEmma Alonso had moved away. No one knew for how long she would be away but after almost 2 years of no communication with her, Jax was certain she was never coming back. Slowly but surely he started rebuilding the walls that had once been broken down...
