Mistakes.

《7》Addictions.

Jax's POV

Friday

I left school feeling shittier than usual. After basically confessing everything to Emma we had to awkwardly walk towards our current principle's office. Mr. Alonso would be getting his old job back soon and I knew everything was going to get even worse. So for now I was basically thanking every possible power out there because I didn't have to face my ex- girlfriends father and tell him that I was here because we had had an argument about me making out with other girls.

Usually, I would've just erased Mrs. Webster's mind and have it be over with, but my father made up another rule "No using magic to get out of trouble." It was supposed to teach me that "my actions have consequences" but right now all it was doing was making me wonder how humans got out of these situations.

We had walked inside and very vaguely explained why we were there. Something along the lines of having "a minor disagreement" . He had let us of with a warning and we left, exchanging awkward glances before going to lunch.

I couldn't handle going in there today. Every time I would walk in there I feel so out of place. So lost. Like an outcast in a mold of people who fit into a perfect puzzle. I'm not a puzzle piece of it. At least, not anymore.

Right now all I needed was a distraction. Not a 10 minute climb to pleasure. I needed to feel happy. I needed something to make me happy. But of course the organic ray of light in my world had has now molded itself into a piece of the puzzle and all I had left  was artificial happiness.

And that brings us to were I am now.

Standing in an alleyway behind The Seven.

I remember coming here last year with Emma. Our first kiss, granted it was E, but our first kiss nonetheless. Our first official date. Our first breakup. My first love. It was her. Shes gone now. And it's my fault.

No, no it's not.

But why wouldn't she tell me she was leaving? Where she was going? It was my fault.

No. She's the one who cheated it was her.

But-

I needed to stop this mess of emotions and memories that were flooding through my brain. I needed to stop thinking.

I reached into my backpack searching for a small box. I moved my hand around, searching for it, every second I couldn't find it my anxiety rose. I began to shake. My mind began to panic. I need to be happy. I need to relax. I need,

I need those damn cigarettes.

I threw all my stuff on the ground, searching through it trying to find that artificial source of happiness. My arms fumbled around and my breathing was so quick it felt like I had ran a marathon. I felt my heart beat faster and I began to get dizzy. Where are they? Why aren't they here? I need them.

I need them.

"Hey, you looking for one of these?" I heard a voice call from behind me. I turned, my eyes focussing on a small cardboard box being held in someone's hand.

"Yes! Yes! How much? I'll pay you whatever i just need some right now. Please." I begged.

"Don't worry, it's free."

I took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it with a stray lighter I carried in my pocket.

I inhaled, the nicotine quickly spreading throughout ny body and clouding out my thoughts. My body relaxed as I slouched again the brick wall of the Seven.

My vision cleared and I was finally able to see who this guy was. My eyes slowly threaded up and I came to the realization that it wasn't a guy. It was a girl.

Alex, to be more specific.

"Thanks." I managed to get out in my post- panic stage as Alex sat down next to me.

"No problem." She smiled. "You know I didn't really have you pinned as the smoking type" she said, turning to look at me.

"What does that mean?" I asked taking another whiff of an artificial emotion offerer.

"Well a pretty, rich boy like you... I would've never thought you would want to waste your life by smoking. You know, doesn't your dad need you to run his company or something?"

"How do you know about that?" I questioned

"Well considering your mansion of a house I just kind of assumed." She shrugged before turning towards the other wall in front of us.

"Well, one, thanks for the compliment." I chuckled "And second, my life is basically already wasted so it doesn't really matter. And as for the last one, he's probably going to give it to my sister." I shrugged.

"I thought he would give it to you since your his first child you know?"

"Yeah, well I'm his first born but I'm most definitely not his favorite." I said as I looked in front of us. A dirty, grey wall facing back at me.

"You know, I didn't even know I had a sister until last month." I turned to look at Alex, her expression was shocked. Hm, she was actually listening. "Yeah, my dad didnt tell me I had a sister and while he searched for her he just kind of left me behind. Up until I was 15 he left me with my aunt but right when I hit 16 I was basically on in my own. And what sucks is that now he wants to come into my life like nothing ever happened." I began but cut myself off when I noticed I was ranting. "Sorry, i go off on rants a lot." I said looking down at my hands and taking another breath of the smoke.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, my mom died while giving birth to me and my dad died of cancer when I was 14. lived with my aunt up until last year but same as you, she said I was old enough to live on my own so. So I guess you could say we were both adults by then." She smiled and i couldn't help but smile back.

Finally, someone who understands.

"Well thanks for these." I said handing her back the box of cigarettes. "But don't worry, I'll buy some more later. And it was nice talking you Alex. I'll see you later." I began to walk away before I heard my name.

"Wait, Jax, why can't you stay a bit longer? It's kind of nice having someone to talk to." She shyly smiled.

"Trust me, if I could stay I would" I said while getting on my bike, "but lunch ends in 5 minutes and I need to get back to class. If I don't get there in time my dad's gonna take away my motorcycle." I explained "But no worries, I'll definitely talk to you later." I said as I put on my helmet and turned on the engine.

She waved goodbye as I sped off, my mind continuing to think back to the conversation we had had. For the first time in 2 years, I had a genuine conversation that didnt end in sex.

And maybe it was the conversation or the fact that the cigarettes were definitely still doing their job,  but I was the happiest I'd been in 2 years.