Chapter 6
like i said before i get jealous when my bestfriend talks to other girls or other people for that matter. but something just jolted inside of me when the girl showed up at the mall. i could tell it bothered me that she was there. i wanted to make it clear that she was mine.
( im not gay or anything. but theres nothing wrong with being gay either. those kinda people are sorta the best kinda people sometimes. )
but like i said before after my whole break up thing i just wanted someone to hold on to. someone to call my own. because it was mostly clear to me that nobody wanted me. i had had so many heartbreaks that i was just done. if i never dated another boy again it'd be too soon.
i had never really thought about my dating life like that before. i didnt really care who i dated or if they even loved me. all i cared about was that i could just have someone to call my own. its hard not growing up with a father and then having a mother like mine.
u just feel like ur alone and that one person.. that special person. i wouldnt say i'd never go out with my bestfriend but she likes other people and i do too if u count Niall Horan as other people.
i could care less about what people thought of me because i had my own set of problems to deal with. i had enough stress and everything from- depression to eating problems. it was getting too hard to do anything. my bones felt like they could snap at any second.
life had gotten really hard after my break up with him. that i guess you could say i'd turned into an emo. and lived alone and didnt really talk to anyone else other then my bestfriend.
i didnt have any pets because they all ended up dying because i was so poor i couldnt feed them or myself for that matter. my life felt like it was falling apart and fast. i felt i had no other choice then to ask my bestfriend if i could move in with her.
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of course when i had asked her she said yes and i knew she would. shes my bestfriend after all. i just couldnt get over that fact that was so rich and she had let me. ME. live in her house. i was basicly homless. and starving at that point. i couldnt think about that now though, all i could think about is that my life might be getting alittle better one by one. it kept poping into my head-
"one by one"
"one by one"
i had no idea why but i thought it meant something so i just let it stay in my head for a while.
