Chapter 7
its been about a week since i moved in with my bestfriend. and i guess things are going great, i mean i have 3-4 meals a day and i have my own bed and everything. she treats me so well and i dont even have anything to repay her with.
shes so nice and everything and im the most awful-est person on the side of the earth. but sometimes i feel like im not wanted at her house. like when her friends come over they're all rich and crap and im in ripped up clothes eating like i havent aten in 6 months. they look at me like im an alien or something.
its makes me feel like complete shit so i go sit in the corner and cry almost everyday. i wish i had friends of my own. the only friend i have is her. im not complaining about not having friends it just makes me sad when other peoples lives are happier then mine with it basicly everyone.
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i havent made my mind up in days.
i feel like im running in a circle.
everyday gets harder..
nothing ever goes my way.
and my feelings always get hurt.
nothing. im complete nothing. im just a shadow in the dark. im just a lover in the light. nothing more than that. nothing will ever be more than that.
never again. never again.
i keep thinking about what point in time that my life began to turn into a living hell. and nothing comes to mind. maybe my life was always this bad i just never noticed it.
i try not to think about just shut my brain off for a few hours and try to put a fake smile on my face to get through the day.
i feel like im in the dark 24/7 and no one really cares. im not even sure where my mom or dad are. i doubt they care. and i doubt they even remember me.
its too much to handle.
and im too much of a retard to understand anything or even do anything right.
