Random jokes quotes and weirdness

What's your story

The Month You a Were Born:

Jan - I ate

Feb - I made love to

Mar - I tickled

April - I licked

May - I wrestled

June - I wanted

July - I tripped over

August - I beat

September - I got naked with

October - I made out with

November - I shot

December - I cuddled with

The Day You Were Born

01) My Lover 02) My Friend 03) A Stranger

04) A toothbrush 05) A Teletubby 06) A Kardashian

07) Sam Winchester 08) Dean Winchester 09) A condom

10) A Lunatic 11) A Policman 12) A Volleyball

13) An Easter egg 14) The Tooth Fairy 15) Santa Claus

16) Some Mayonnaise 17) Katniss Everdeen 19) King Julian (Off of Madagascar)

20) A Porn Star 21) Peter Pan 22) A Hot Dog

23) A Stripper 24) A Fat Lady 25) A Fat Man

26) My Best Friend 27) A bowl of cereal 28) One Direction

29) Kermit the Frog 30) A Crocodile 31) Channing Tatum (Your welcome ;)

The Colour Of The Shirt You Are Wearing:

White - because a clown stole my Taco

Black - because I smoked some weed

Grey - because I'm awesome in bed

Orange - because my imaginary friend said so

Blue - because Ariel was my witness

Green - because my boobs are AMAZING

Pink - because I love bacon

Violet - because I kissed a frog and he turned into a giraffe

Red - because I miss Fred Weasley

Polka Dots - because I needed to pee

Brown - excuse my pet is an asshole

Strips - because I have high-self esteem

Turquoise - because I'm a total pimp

Purple - because I am Fairy

Yellow - because I had one too many drinks

No Shirt - Because I have amazing abs

Tan - because I am PURE CLASS

Other - because........IMA BOSS ASS BITCH