Discipline (Incomplete)

Chapter 8

I look up at him, that's all I can do. Words are straining to come out of my mouth.

"You look so different." I say, at a loss for words.

His dark brown hair is now faded at the sides, and his curls at the top are taller and more defined. The freshly cut hairs of his beard perfectly rest on his squared jawline, all of which weren't present a month or so ago.

His eyes fall dark, and reveal a need for something.

"You look so appealing in those shorts." He growls softly, hunger in his voice. He steps forward and I step back. "Carie... I need you to kiss me. Please."

I shake my head. I can't he has a girlfriend. This isn't right, at all. I just want to talk. My ovaries are pulsing due to the nervousness growing inside of me. I want to kiss him so badly, but how would "babe" feel. If he would do it to her, then who says he wouldn't do this to me. The thought turns me off.

"Alexander, no. I just want to talk." I beg. I'm in no position for this to get physical. If it does, there is no telling what could happen. He steps forward twice and I do the opposite. My stomach starts to convulse.

"What is there to speak about?" He questions me intently.

I clear my throat. He steps forward and as I am about to step back, the wall pushes on me. He now stands over me. His hands resting on the wall at opposites ends of my head.

"Rebecca..." I remind him, my voice fading as I find my breath. His lips suckling on my neck like a starving calf. I push him off and he looks at me, his expression unreadable. "Alexander..." I plead.

He moves away from me and looks down at his feet and shakes his head violently. "What was I thinking? I'm sorry Carie."

He grabs his hair, turns on his heel, and slowly walks away. I feel bad, but I can't be because he has a girlfriend. It was the only rational thing to do.

"Don't leave. We haven't spoken." I shout to him. I wait for him to turn around but he doesn't. What were you thinking!? I sink to the ground.

I grow just a frustrated as he is. What could I possibly be frustrated over? Well, he has a girlfriend which means I can't kiss him, and he refuses to talk to me after it's been so long. I sit there and contemplate reasoning behind my actions that could possibly follow.

He's trailing out of my hand like sand and I wont allow. I run after him but unfortunately, he's already around his friends. I can easily pick out Rebecca as she only has her attention placed on Alexander. She's beautiful and she is dressed lovely. Her jet black hair shines under the street light. Her curves are highlighted by a short red leather dress she wears. The dress is accompanied by black knee-high gladiator sandals and gold jewelry.

I instantly compare myself with her. She looks so kinky but sophisticated and I look like a 16 year old going to the movies. I can feel my self-esteem slightly lowering.

I notice the others. All the girls in the group are dressed just like her. I realize that they all have their boyfriends surrounding them also. I feel intimidated just looking at them.

At this point I'm standing behind a tree, like an outcast.  I reach for my phone and dial Alexis.

"Hello!" She shouts into the phone.

"Hey, I'm gonna head back to the room..."

"I can't hear you. What!?"

This is completely pointless. I end the call and text her.

Me: I was just telling you that I'm going to be heading back to the room.

I really don't need for her to convince me to stay now. I just need the comfort of my bed despite the fact that I need to pack for my departure tomorrow. No, I am going to pack.

I head in the direction of Johnson Hall. As I walk pass Alexander's group, I can feel their eyes on me, including his. I ignore them and I pick up the pace. It was a cold, dark and lonely walk but at the same time it relieved me of some of the stress I had been feeling. I enter the room and take my clothes off, leaving my underwear on. I head for my closet and take out one of my suitcases.

I lay it on the floor and start packing my clothing and other possessions in it. My heart feels tighter than it was earlier and my eyes start to sting. I can't possibly feel the need to cry right now.

I look at the clock, it's 10:07 PM. As it gets later, the need to go home deepens. I miss my mother, my siblings, my dog, my room. Don't get me wrong, I do love it here but I think it's about time to take a break. My phone buzzes, bringing me back to reality.

Alexis: I'm sorry babes, I shouldn't have forced you out. I'll talk to you when I get back. Xoxo.

I sit on my bed, and tears slowly form in my eyes and my nose begins to run. I look down at my fingers as I twiddle my thumbs. Using my blanket, I wipe my face. No need to cry. You need to pack!

I snap back to my original self trying to push back the events of the night. Not much has happened but it has been enough to keep me on my toes.

I head back to packing my suitcase. After I pack most of my things in it, I head for the second. Not long after, a sharp knock on the door echoes in the room.

My heart races. I wonder as to who it could've been. If it was Alexis, it would've been opened already. Totally forgetting that I had no clothes on, I open the door halfway.

Alexander stands on the other side, eyeballing me. I eyeball myself as well and instantly close the door in his face. I reach for my towel on the back of the door and wrap myself.

I take in a deep breath. Soon the door is open and Alexander steps in closing the door behind him.

"Carie, talk." He demands.

***
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