Scenarios?

Rant Aparently... - 1

February 7th, 2017

Watching the cars and people walk like tiny bugs from the top of my apartment building. It was raining that day and honestly I was fed up with many things at the time, and at the moment I'm feeling the same way.

     I wanted to jump off, and I almost did, but obviously if I did I wouldn't be here writting this now would I?

This was goimg to bea message about how people should try and stay alive and not commit suicide...but, it would be a complete lie for me to say that I don't feel depressed anymore.

I know its the anxiety but I feel like these small things are all going to change something drastic and I hate it, and maybe I'm overthinking too much but-

...I don't know anymore...

I swear I'm just not okay and I hope that I can continue wearing this mask of joy.

I thought things were going so smoothly but with rumours and issues happening its starting to eat at me slower and slower, all the kept secrets I've been holding and that I have been held from, its just bothersome.

and its amazing how much words can really get to you, and how your trust for someone can drop in an instant..

I don't know why I'm continuing to live anymore if everyday gets worse and yes seeing my lovely significant other does cheer me up but that cheerfulness can only last so long...

ranting again..ugh..

Why is it that drama is something that tends to follow me and I end up getting plunged into it? Rumours and coments just filling in my head and its insane at how it nags and nags at me.

I hate myself so much already...

...I just love to get reminded of the trash that I am