Where I Belong

Chapter 10

Regina knew she shouldn't have just left Emma like that but her thoughts were too overwhelming and she panicked. She went to the only place that could make her feel better. She kissed her fingers and pressed them to the top of Robins grave stone.

"Oh Robin, I just don't know what to do. I love Emma and I would really like to make a go of it with her but what if I'm destined to be alone. Every time I get close to someone they end up dead and that is the last thing I want."

Regina knew she wasn't going to get an answer from Robin but it was just nice for her to voice her feelings. A minute went by and Regina felt two strong arms rest on her shoulders.

"Mum just tell Ma exactly how you feel, she will understand."

"Darling what are you doing here?" Regina asked.

Henry ducked his head, looked at the floor and wiped his face.

"I was here to put flowers on my dad's grave. I thought I had lost you too and when Ma put her heart into your chest I was so relieved that you were alive. I haven't visited Robin or Dad's grave in a while so I thought while I was here I would catch them up on everything."

"They would be so proud of Henry. Can I ask you something dear?"

Regina grabbed hold of Henry hand and led him over to the bench.

"I'm not a kid anymore Mum, I could see how you and Ma were acting around each other. It's obvious to everyone how you feel about each other, well obvious to everyone expect for you and Ma."

Regina was sure it wasn't that obvious because it wasn't obvious to her until recently. But thinking about it Henry spent most of his time with either her or Emma and he probably did know them better than anyone.

"I just don't know what to do Henry" Regina sighed.

"What's the problem, maybe I could help?"

Regina hated discussing her past and even more when it was with Henry but like he said, he's not a kid anymore.

"I'm just scared I'm going to hurt Emma or that she might end up dead. There seems to be a pattern in my life and I don't want it to happen again."

Henry leaned over, kissed Regina on the cheek and squeezed her knee.

"If you love her and I mean really love her then that's all you need to do. Ma just needs someone who really loves her and who stays by her side no matter what. Why do you think she will end up dead?" Henry questioned.

"I've tried to shelter you from my past as much as I possibly can but I think it's time you learn the truth."

Regina knew that telling Henry this could jeopardise their relationship but she didn't want any more secrets.

"Mum you don't need to tell me anything that you don't want to. I know when I was younger I didn't understand why you did any of those things but we've been through so much that I know you only did them to survive and because you were hurting."

Regina didn't like that Henry was trying to justify her actions she just hoped he didn't hate her after this talk.

"Okay so the reason I think Emma is going to end up dead is because anyone that I've been romantically involved with has ended up dead. I'm just worried I'm like the black widow spider and I'm destined to end up alone."

"Mum, Urm Black Widows eat the male spider after they mate."

"Okay so maybe a black widow was a bad analogy but you understand what I'm saying don't you?"

"Yes of course I do but Daniel was killed by Cora, you killed Leopold to protect yourself and Robin died protecting you. You're not a black widow Mum, you've just had lots of bad luck and maybe Ma is your good luck."

Regina noticed that Henry hadn't mentioned Graham and she thought maybe it was a good idea to keep him a secret. Some things are better left in the past.

"Maybe your right, I think it's about time I stop running and give myself a chance to be happy. I just hope it's not too late, I sort of disappeared on Emma."

"It's not too late mum, Ma understands this is a lot for you and she's ready to talk when you are."

"How can you be sure?" she asked.

"Okay, so I might have lied when I said I was here to put flowers on my dad's grave. Ma sent me a text when you left her and said that you were likely headed here so if I was close could I come and check if you were okay."

"You shouldn't have lied to me darling, I wouldn't have been angry with you. Why didn't Emma just come and check on me herself?"

"Ma knew that you would need space and she often puts her foot in her mouth when things are serious and she didn't want to say something that might upset you."

Regina knew that was true, there's been plenty of times where Emma has said something she shouldn't.

"Go home and speak to Ma, I promise everything will work out in the end. Don't give up on a chance at happiness because you're scared."

Regina knew Henry was right she wasn't scared, she was petrified. She had never put her heart on the line before and she was ready and willing. Thinking about it, it's not her heart she's putting on the line, it's Emma's. She had the saviours heart inside of her and she was going to make sure she didn't damage it.

Regina stood up, kissed the top of Henry's head.

"I'm going to stay here for a bit longer and then I'm staying at Ruby's tonight so I will see you tomorrow after school. I love you Mum and good luck with Ma, just tell her the truth."

"Be good for Ruby and I love you too."

Regina kissed Henry on the cheek, pulled her phone out and scrolled down to Emma's name.

Regina: Emma, I'm sorry I ran out on you. I hope you can forgive me, can you meet me at home in about ten minutes please. I need to explain to you why I left like I did.

Regina placed her phone back in her pocket and headed out of the graveyard. She didn't really like leaving Henry there on his own but she knew he needed some time with Neal and with the Evil Queen being dead there wasn't any threats about, well at least for now. She took the shortcut home and reached her front door five minutes after leaving the cemetery, she knew using magic would have got her home in 10 seconds but the walk gave her some time to think. She knew that she needed to be honest with Emma but she always had trouble talking about her feelings. She placed the key in the door, pushed the door open and walked inside the house. She headed straight for the kitchen and decided to warm up some leftover Lasagne for Emma. She grabbed the tray from the oven, cut a huge piece and put it on a plate. She would give it a couple of minutes before she warmed it up. Regina crouched down, opened the cupboard under the sink and pulled out her secret stash of whisky. She didn't want to be drunk when Emma arrived but she needed a bit of Dutch courage. She checked the clock and it was just after 7pm, she had been waiting for Emma for nearly an hour. She pulled out her phone and she had no messages. Regina knew it was a long shot that Emma would want to talk to her but she wasn't giving up without a fight. She downed her glass of whisky, took a swig from the bottle, flicked her wrist and appeared outside Emma's house. The front door was ajar, Regina pulled out her phone and rang Emma but it went straight to voicemail. Regina ran up the steps, marched into Emma's house and was shocked by what she found. It looked like a struggle had taken place, Emma's front room furniture was sprawled across the room, the table was shattered and had droplets of blood on the glass, there was a clump of blonde hair on the kitchen door and more blood on the kitchen floor. Regina had a bad feeling about this, she tried ringing Emma a few more times but each time it when to voicemail.

"Emma where the hell are you."