Secrets & Lies

The Weed is Getting to Me| 49

"Hey, mommy."

"I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me." She said. "I could never. I've been really busy lately." I sighed.

"Never too busy to call the person who spent 11 hours in labor to get you here." She sassed. "I know mama I apologize."

"I know you do. What man got my baby girl sounding so down?"

"Why do you assume it's a man?" I queried. "Intuition."

"Well, you're right. Um, it's a new guy I'm seeing."

"¿Que pasó?"

"Javier and I are friends which he, and everyone else, know. They're not really that fond of each other but earlier he made some weird comments about my friendship with Javi." I explained.

"Well, what did he say?"

I broke down exactly what happened as she muttered 'Mhm' a few times to let me know she was listening.

"Has this ever come up before?" She asked. "I mean he always mentions that he's not fond of Javier. But what he said earlier sounded like insecurity more than anything else. I don't know where it came from, mama."

"Maybe he always felt that way. Javier is your ex. Someone who did something wrong and you forgave him for it. Someone you shared intimate parts of yourself with. Of course, he'd be jealous. However, whatever he's feeling that made him say that, you need to talk to him and find out what it is. Try reassuring him. " She encouraged.

"You always know the right things to say."

"Of course I do I'm your mom." She boasted. "Yeah, yeah, can you put baba on the phone?"

After spending about an hour on the phone with my parents and Jayden, I went to find Sebastian. He and I hadn't spoken more than a few words to each other since we got to his beach house hours ago.

The place was like a maze, so I was wandering around aimlessly for almost ten minutes until I found him outside on the third-floor balcony. I knocked on the glass door and he looked up at me plaintively. He was holding a bottle of water in one hand and a perfectly wrapped blunt in the other.

When he looked away I took the opportunity to come to sit in the chair beside his. "Tell me what the problem is, so we can fix it," I said.

"I just...I got a little emotional earlier and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that you make me that way because that's unfair and untrue."

"I'm sorry I called you a pain in the ass." I sighed. "Eh don't apologize. I was being a pain in the arse and I'm sorry."

"Why do you think you're a bad person?" I asked quietly. "Because I am."

"No, you're not. If That were true I wouldn't be here with you right now."

"I guess you have a point there. I don't know what I was thinking. I just got upset because you and Javier just have so much natural chemistry. You've had it since the moment you two met and you talk to him and tell him things so easily. I don't like that." He pouted.

"Tell me exactly why."

"I don't like it because I'm scared that one day you'll gain feelings for him again and you'll leave me. Everyone picks him over me. It's always been like that. I don't want you to do that." He explained. I sighed and moved so I was sitting in his lap. "You know what the difference between you and Javier is?"

"I'm much more handsome?" He quipped. I giggled a bit as I held his hand. "The way I feel about you. I want to be with you, and only you."

"Do you love him?" He asked. His question took me by surprise. But what shook me, even more, was how he looked up at me with slightly watery eyes. I had the strong urge to blame it on the weed.

It confused me a bit and caused me to hesitate. In that second that I'd hesitated, I'd caused doubt to fill his eyes. His head hung in disappointment but I slipped my finger under his chin and lifted his head. "I love Javier because he's become my best friend, however, I love you so much and that is one of the most precious and important things to me," I said softly.

"I probably look crazy right now." He sniffled. "No, but I'd like to know what else is wrong. This can't be the only reason."

"Nothing the weed is making me emotional." He sighed. "You know you can talk to me. About anything. I'm always here for you."

"I know. Can you just...can you hold me?" He asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course, I can."

Despite my still being a little bit confused I didn't press him to go into further detail. Instead, I just led him to the swing and we got into a comfortable position. I ran my fingers through his hair and even though I was trying to soothe his thoughts, he whispered sweet words into my ear.