Secrets & Lies

Maybe In Another Lifetime| 25

With Sebastian's words in mind, I walked up the path to Javier's front door. Despite having a key, I knocked. It was my way of delaying our conversation just a little to prepare myself for what I was about to do. Once he opened the door he pulled me into a hug. "God I missed you."

"Can we talk?"

"Of course." He said. He grabbed my hand and led me to the living room. We sat down and stared at each for a few seconds before I tore my eyes away from his face. "Javier... I don't think I can stay in this relationship." I said.

His head hung in despair and I already knew his eyes had started to water. "I told you I didn't plant the files." He all but whispered. "This is more about the fact that I can't trust you any more than it is about that. I can't stay with you knowing that I'll be questioning everything you say to me. It's not fair."

"I really do hope you understand," I said. "I do. But I...when I said that I loved you I meant it."

"I love you too. But that doesn't mean that we should stay together. Maybe we just aren't right for each other right now."

"Don't say that you'll always be right for me." He sighed. "What am I supposed to do without you by my side? I thought I was like family. You told me—you said...para Siempre y Siempre."

When he looked up at me his eyes were filled with fear, sadness, and shame as tears slowly rolled down his cheek. I sighed and leaned forward to wipe his tears. "Just because I'm ending this doesn't mean I wasn't serious about what I said. I know what it's like to feel abandoned and I'd never do that to you. I'm not breaking up with you because I don't love you. You have to earn my trust and companionship. If you needed me I'd be here." I reassured him.

He nuzzled his cheek against my hand and took a deep breath.

"Trust is like a mirror and I broke it. I have to work to fix it and when I do, it's still not going to be exactly the same." He mumbled.

"We should take some time apart. It'll let you sort out your feelings and maybe we can be friends." I added.

"You were always too good for me." He sighed. "I'm not too good for anyone...well maybe a few people. But I'm not too good for you."

"You Have a beautiful soul and I would give you the world if that's what you wanted. Thank you for caring about me, for even giving me a chance." He said.

After we talked I went straight home to pull my self together. I wouldn't be getting into another relationship for a while.

***

When Saturday rolled around, I rolled out of my bed with a slight hangover from a night of drinking wine in my living room. I handled my morning routine and went into the kitchen. Kayla was standing in front of the stove making something that smelled outstanding. "Finally, you're up. We gotta go shopping."

I groaned at that. "Here drink this."

She placed a glass of green juice in front of me. "What's This?" I asked. "My secret hangover cure." She smiled.

I thanked her and downed the drink. "Where we going?"

She placed a plate of food in front of me before coming around the island to sit beside me. "Doesn't matter to me. You feeling okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, a little headache, but I'm fine. You're up early after last night." I commented.

"Eh, I didn't have as much to drink and you know my internal clock had me up by at 9:30 at the latest on weekends."

"Yes, I know."

"Maybe we'll hit 5th ave." She shrugged. "Alright, we'll head out around 1:30."