nιcoтιne • reylo aυ

p r o l o g u e

i remember the first time i saw her. she was an attendant at my father's funeral. quite a simple persona, dressed in basic blacks and clutching her face in her hands.

i remember searching her face, looking for a sign of relation. a good amount of the attendees were either ones my father owed debt to or ones that had grown some what fond of his smuggling self.

she seemed to be one of them. her face pools of water about to spill. i remember watching her intently for a good amount of the dreaded event. the simple splatter of freckles across her nose and small tendrils of loose hair that framed her face had distracted me from the reality, the reality that my father was gone.

for most of the funeral i refrained from speaking to her. every time i stepped forward to speak, the words that i longed to say seemed stuck in my throat. i couldn't say anything. so i found myself stepping away every time a surge of rare courage went through me.

i wanted to say something, but i couldn't.

"why are you staring at me like that? do i have a stain on my shirt or something?"

"n-no," i remember my face turning a bright red. i couldn't see the shade of red it was but i knew it was quite obvious. the warm feeling of my cheeks gave it away.

"then why are you looking at me?"

i didn't exactly know what to say on that moment but i knew i had to say something. but what? it's not like i could say, you interest me.

so instead i chose not to say anything to her which seemed to make her even more irritated than before. i watched as her sun kissed features contorted into a face of annoyance. i couldn't exactly blame her though.

"It's creepy."

my heart seemed to drop to my stomach the minute those two words were uttered. i already knew that i'd already messed everything up and i'd only talked to this girl for less than 5 minutes.

"are you going to say anything? or are you mute too?"

the look on her face was skeptical and still bore the same expression of annoyance. her dark hazel eyes were simply slits as they bore into mine. 

"no i'm not mute," i scrunched up my features, reflecting back the face she was currently making at me.

"then who are you?"

"why does that matter? i doubt we will see each other again after this, anyways."

"you never know."

"ren."

"what?"

"ren, kylo ren. that's my name," i held out my hand slowly for her to shake. i could feel my own hand quiver at her gentle touch. 

"well then kylo, i'm rey."

"nice to meet you rey."

in response she gave me a small smile. but i didn't think much of it, it was the type of smile you'd give to basically anyone. basically the super polite close lipped smile you give when you're just trying to be nice. she didn't say anything after that though, instead she walked away and i watched as she made her way towards the casket.

i continued to watch her as she came closer to my father. looking closely i noticed her hand was shaking, her fingers shivering at the cool touch of the glass of the casket.

then she turned around and looked back at me. i could see the obvious sadness in her eyes and the waterfall of tears threatening to spill.

the eye contact lasted for mere moments but in that moment, somehow i knew. somehow i felt her pain inside myself and my heart seemed to drop once again. 

then the tears she held back for so long spilled from her eyes, i mimicked her actions.

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a/n: new book!! hopefully y'all enjoyed <3

i dedicate this chapter  to The_Golden_Trash for being a great friend and ReyloAddict because i literally binge read "Deadly Love" all over again and i'm totally not crying