nιcoтιne • reylo aυ

f i v e

ben remembers when he used to have a good relationship with his father. one that wasn't strained, one where his father was known to him as dad instead of han solo. it was so long ago however, so to ben, it only remained as a fragment of a broken memory. and maybe that's why he felt so unbelievably numb about the whole situation. 

"ben are you okay?"

rey's seemingly worried voice cut from his thoughts and he turned around to meet her concerned gaze. he didn't answer her question though, his head pounding mercilessly from the night before. it seemed as if the past week or so was just one big blur he'd rather forget. the churning guilt in his stomach was slowly driving him insane.

"it's nothing...i'm fine. i should be leaving anyways...i have work."

he slowly brought himself away from her, gaze distant as he walked out the door without waiting for her to say goodbye.

•

his idea of "going to work" became the sad reality of sitting alone in a park, holding an empty notebook in his lap. it was a recommendation from his mother, after han's death, she had gifted it to him in hopes of it being able to relieve some of the bitterness he had kept inside.

the notebook was pretty useless in reality, but he didn't feel like telling that to his grieving mother so instead he found himself staring down at the empty pages in thought. gripping the pen tightly in his hand, ben started to scribble down the lyrics to some song he remembered rey liked to play often.

it's not just all physical

i'm the type who won't get oh so critical

so let's make things physical

i won't treat you like you're oh so typical

he stared down at the words for a few moments longer, the catchy tune replaying in his mind. rey often had it playing, he wasn't sure why, considering it was a very pop like song and he didn't see rey as the type to listen to that type of music at all.

it's not like he knew her that well anyways, they stood on mutual ground of having some sort of connection to han solo but that seemed to change when they decided to have some drunken one night stand. 

ben knew he should've said no, that he should've stayed home, but somehow he couldn't help but being entranced by rey and the whole idea of her. and maybe that's what seemed to scare him so much. it was almost scary how willing he was to follow her lead, there was just something about her, something that keep him tailing her heals just like a dog.

a/n: omg do you guys see the new trailer for the last jedi? my reylo ass is shaking wow