Misunderstood

Chapter 6.

I do have a little something for Harry but I don't want to say anything. I don't even want to feel anything for Harry. I'm scared, I'm scared that I will be hurt again.. I don't even know the kid. I'm just very confused. That moment at the bowling alley, I just let it happen. It did feel amazing but I can't settle with someone, I'm only 17 years old. 

"Hey, you okay?" My dad said. 

"Yeah, I'm fine.. Why do you ask?"

"You just seem out of it, and I know that we don't talk but if you ever need someone to talk to about your problems, your dad will be here to listen."

"Thanks dad, but I don't think you can help.."

"What, why not?"

"I just don't think you can. No one can. No one ever will." 

"How are you so sure? I mean I don't even know what you're going through yet you're already making assumptions." 

"Because you were never there for me, you were never there when I had my first heartbreak. I literally had to cry myself to sleep, and where the fuck were you when I needed you the most? Oh yeah, in your room, hoping for mom to come back. Dad it's been 4 years, get over it. She's not coming back, she will never come back. Wake up to reality." 

"Alex that's enough! Don't ever speak to me like that ever again!"

"Are you serious right now? Like are you kidding me right now? Proves how much of a father you are. Thank you so fucking much." 

"Sure, blame it all on me. I'm trying to be here for you but you don't even let me in. You keep shutting me out. You shut everyone out Alex and then you wonder why you feel lonely. I know I screwed up for the past for 4 years but I'm trying to change my ways.. I want to be more involved in your life."

"Barely right now? When I'm 17? For fucks sake I've been trying so hard to speak to you but you've always ignored me. How does it feel now?" I yelled.

I knew what I said hurt him, but when I'm angry I say things that come to mind. I ran out of my house with tears running down my face. I decided to go to the park, it was dark out. I text Harry to meet me at the park. 

'Hey can you come meet at the park? It's important..'

'Yeah sure, what's going on?'

'I'll tell you when you get here..'

'Okay, I'll be there in a few.'

I didn't know who to speak to about this. It was heartbreaking and I just wanted someone to comfort me and say that it's okay. I wanted someone to say that everything will get better and to hug me.. That's all I wanted. I was on the swing, just swinging back and forth, looking at the sky and admiring the stars that shined above me. I heard footsteps behind me and I turned to see that it was Harry. He sat beside me in the swing that was next to me. We both stared at the stars for five minutes. Harry broke the silence. 

"You know, I've always admired the stars and the moon at night. I loved the way that they would shine. It's amazing." 

"It is. I thought I was the only one that admired them."

"No Alex, you're not the only one."

"Yeah I barely realized that right now."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Um, yeah sure."

"Okay, I'm listening."

"Okay well, I was in my room just thinking and I guess my dad realized that I was out of it and he asked what was wrong.. So I decided to make a big deal about him worrying about me and we had a big argument." Tears started to come.. I was trying hard to keep them from coming. 

"What was the argument about?"

"About my mom.."

"What about your mom?"

"Uh.." My voice cracked and I looked the other way, I was trying to prevent him from seeing me cry. 

"Go ahead.."

"She past away 4 years ago and I was angry that he decided to care barely right now.. I mean when I'm 17 and he barely decides to come to me and ask what's wrong. Where was he a year ago? Where was he during those 4 years? Oh yeah in misery."

"Alex, don't even say that. Your dad cares about you deeply. And I'm sorry for your mother's decease. I-"

"No. Do not feel sorry for me. I don't want pity." I said angrily. 

"It's not pity, I'm just saying sorry for your loss. Calm down please." 

"I'm calm." 

"Okay, well can you hear me out please?"

 "I'm listening."

"Okay, well I'm sorry for your loss. And I'll always be here to hear you out whenever you're going through something like this ever again. But just know that your dad truly cares about you. You just have a hard time to realize that on your own."  He looked at me with a concerned expression.

It was hard to trust him. But his words reassured me. He stood up and walked over to my swing. He bent down and looked at me; analyzing every feature on my face. 

"I care about you Alex, you can't change what I feel for you." 

I stood up and wrapped my arms around him. My body fit perfectly with his.

"I care about you too."  I said.