I Kissed Her Scars

Chapter 4

I Kissed Her Scars

Chapter 4

I woke up exhaustedly, too tired to shut off my alarm. It was the weekend, and it was 12 in the afternoon, yet I was still tired.

I actually usually woke up at 2 in the afternoon on the weekends, but not today. I had plans today.

"Hey man," I said to my brother Derek, "I'm off."

"Wow..." he said, "Someone's awake awfully early today. But, if you're gonna be up this early and going out, it must be really important. So... Uhm... Don't do drugs and use a condom I guess..."

I rolled my eyes at his weirdness. He may have been 25 and my legal guardian, but he was still the most immature person I knew. But not in a bad way.

I got in my car to drive to her house. But I was still nervous as hell. I had everything planned, but I couldn't help but being more scared than I have ever been in my life.

I got to her house and knocked on her door. Her dad answered it.

"Hello," he said in a deep voice and a bit coldly. He reeked of smoke and alcohol.

"Uhm.. Hey... Is Emma home?"

"Yes... What would you like with her?"

"Uhm... I have a school project to work on with her..."

"And your name is?"

"Connor. Connor Sanders."

"EMMA!!!" he shouted, scaring the crap outta me, "A BOY IS HERE TO SEE YOU ABOUT A SCHOOL PROJECT!!! SAYS HIS NAMES CONNOR!!!"

She walked down the stairs in her pajamas and saw me. I did a small friendly wave to her with an innocent smile. She just glared at me and crossed her arms.

"Well...." said her father, "Aren't you gonna bring him to your room to work on this project I wasn't informed about???"

She rolled her eyes. "C'mon Connor, follow me to my room," she said unenthusiastically. But I took it. As long as I could talk with her in private.

I got to her room and she closed we door. "What do you want?" she asked angrily.

"Look, I'm sorry for what I said the other day. I wasn't thinking on what a sensitive subject it could've been when I brought it up. But, I was worried about you. That's why I brought it up."

"You don't need to worry for me Connor. I'm... I'm fine."

She started crying.

"Omigosh Emma," I said, going up to hug her, "Are you okay?"

She looked up at me.

"I... I told you," she said between sniffles, "I... I'm fine."

"Emma, you're not fine. Please talk to me."

"Well... I can't tell you here. My dads in the house. We gotta go somewhere."

"We could go to my house? Tell your dad that it'd be better to work on the project at my house?"

"Okay."

We went downstairs.

"Hey Mr. O'Donnel," I said, "We figured it'd be better to work on the project at our house. Is that alright with you?"

"Yea yea," he said, not even looking at us, "Have her home by supper."

"Alright, have a good day."

"Yea... Back at you..."

Just by that 1 minute conversation, I could tell that her dad didn't care about what she did at all.

We got into my car and I started driving to my house.

"So, start talking," I said.

"My mom left us when I was only 6 months old. My dad thought it was because of me. He really loved her, and he hated me because he thought that I was the reason she left him. So, he abused me growing up."

"Omigosh..."

"And he makes me do everything around the house. Cook, clean... Just like my mother was supposed to do."

"And that's why he got mad at you for coming home late..."

"Yea. All he does is sit his fat ass on the couch watching tv all day. Smoke in one hand, alcohol in the other..."

"Emma... I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. It's been like that my whole life. I'm used to it. Plus I'm 17 now. Just a couple more months and I can just walk out of the door leaving all my worries and troubles behind."

"I didn't know. I'm really sorry for making fun of you for cutting yourself. Now I understand what you actually go through."

"It's okay Sanders. Like I said, it's been like that my whole life. I'm used to it."

"I know that it's hard to deal with the pain, but you can't keep cutting yourself Emma. It's not good for you."

"Look, I have my methods to dealing with stress, and you have yours. Just let me be."

"I know how it feels to not have a real parent Emma. Please let me help you."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed. "Nobody knows about this. But this is the real story of what happened to my parents."

"I was told they moved but you and your brother stayed back here..."

"That's the story everyone was told. But it was a lie. I didn't want to tell the real story of my parents. It's embarrassing."

"Oh... You can tell me... I won't tell anyone. As long as you don't tell anyone about my dad."

"Promise. But... My mom died of a drug overdose and my dad is in jail."

"Omigosh..."

"Yea... Surprise! I come from a criminal and a druggie. My parents aren't exactly perfect either. Since my dad went to jail, I just lived with my brother. And he works extremely hard to pay our bills. He can't even go to college to get a good job because of my parents. He's barely home. So, it's mostly me being alone."

"Wow... Connor... Of all people, I never would've thought of you being the one who's also from a messed up family."

"Why do you say that?"

"You seem so... Outgoing with no care or worries in the world. You seem so happy to talk to and see everyone, you're the person who I'd least expect to be hurting inside."

"We all have problems Emma. Some just know how to hide it better than others."

"I wish I could be one of those people. But I'm not. I'm just a big cry baby who cries herself to sleep and cuts her self and and--"

She cut herself off, because she started sobbing.

"Emma, it's okay," I assured her, "I'm always here for you. And now I know that you're always there for me."