I Kissed Her Scars

Chapter 9

I Kissed Her Scars

Chapter 9

I was walking down the mall with her when it was lunch time.

"We should get something to eat," I said.

"Uhm... That's okay..."

"Huh? It's 12:30... Aren't you hungry? I don't even think you've eaten today."

"No no, I'm fine."

"Oh... But... It's lunch time and--"

"I don't usually eat lunch."

Just like at school, she never ate anything.

"But... Don't you starve?"

"It's alright. I don't need to eat."

I looked at her seriously, trying to get her to speak and spill out why she wouldn't eat.

And luckily, it worked.

"I don't eat. Just like 3 carrot sticks a day and that's it."

"Omigosh... No wonder you're so skinny!"

Crap. Another idiotic line that spat out of my mouth. Stupid.

"No, I'm so fat!!!"

"What??? Emma, you're the skinniest girl I've ever seen!! How can you think you're fat???"

"Ugh, you don't understand!!!"

"Don't understand what?"

"Everyone thinks I'm fat! Everyone!"

"They... They said you were fat?"

"When my dad abused me, eating was how I got through all my stress. I ate so much, I gained so much weight. Then everyone called me fat, at first I didn't care but later it really got to me. I cried myself to sleep every single day and was so insecure. My dad called me fat, everyone at school called me fat... People told me to lose weight... I couldn't take it anymore. So I stopped eating, but never felt any skinnier, And food, which was once my best friend that got me through my pain, became my biggest enemy."

I stood there silent.

"And I found a new stress reliever in my life."

"Cutting," I said.

She nodded her head in reply.

"Emma, please--"

"I'm sorry if I'm such a disappointment to you. I'm just a disappointment to everyone. The things I think I love... Will surely bring me pain."

I snickered. "Pierce the Veil quote, how cheesy. But Emma, you're no disappointment to me. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. You've been miserable all your life, and you're still here today, holding on."

She grinned, she was happy with what I said. It made me feel great to be the reason that she had smiled. Making someone feel better when they were upset just had to be one of the best feeling ever.

"I gotta go to the washroom," she said, "Wait for me?"

I nodded in reply.

She walked into the washroom as I sat on a chair in the food court waiting for her.

"Connor???" said a familiar voice behind me.

"Alice... Hi..." I said to her.

"Connor, what are you doing here??"

"Just... You know... Hanging out..."

Did I really want to tell her and her friends that I was here with Emma???

"... Alone??? Connor, why would you be at the mall alone???"

"I was... Searching for a job."

"... And why are you sitting down now?"

"Cuz... I'm eating lunch."

"Uh huh... Then tell me Connor, where is your lunch?"

Shoot. I didn't even have any lunch with me, it was just me, sitting alone, at a table.

"I... Finished it."

Gosh I was such a terrible liar. But luckily, she bought it.

"Okay then... Well, wanna hang with us then?"

"Sorry... Uhm... Still job searching. Busy."

She stared at me intensely. I tried to stare back not looking nervous so she wouldn't suspect I was lying.

"Alright Connor, alright. Later."

She walked away and I let out a deep breath. That went well.

"Hey," Emma said to me as she waked out of the washroom.

"Hey," I said, but not too energetically.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Oh... Nothing."

"Alright, wanna go?"

"Sure."

I was so uncomfortable and guilty. After all me and Emma have been through, after all the words I've said to her, I was still afraid to be seen with her, by someone who I didn't even think actually cared about me. What in the world was wrong with me.