Becoming

Irritation Causes Bridges to Bur

I wanted to drive my fist into the nearby locker. I could still hear her picking on me, nearly mocking me. Sometimes she just got on my nerves. We came from similar, but different backgrounds and she has the gumption to just point out one of my flaws like it was nothing. She often times acted like she was better, but I know her better than she knows herself at times. I grew up with her. I was there for her as she was for me. Savannah, my best friend, why do you unnerve me at times?

When asked why I wouldn't be attending her Halloween bash party, I reminded her that I had a newborn waiting for me at home. Savannah seemed slightly insulted/hurt, but tried to reassure me that it was fine and that she understood. I know that the argument that had erupted was completely my fault and matter-of-fact tone at the time, but I couldn't help but feel slightly wounded by her words.

"Well, you and William should have thought about your social life before you decided to get pregnant nine months ago!"

I shuddered as the words echoed through my mind. I knew that I had cause that hidden anger to explode, but I could only feel more angry because of it. I hadn't intended to get pregnant, which she flat out knew. I couldn't help but to also recall that she was the only one besides William who supported me throughout the whole pregnancy; she was the person that I leaned on and went to.

I had started it by saying, "You will have your other numerous friends there to attend to you." Honestly, I hadn't meant to say the word "attend". I was just flat out tired and could barely focus on the conversation. My sweet Dakota kept me up all night.

I got to my locker and I spun my combination lock in a slightly irritated matter. I hadn't had my usual coffee, Dakota was being more fussy than normal, my math grade is slipping downhill, and I had to recently pick up more hours at work to help place money aside for the basic necessities this month. I felt like curling up in a ball and hiding. The encounter with Savannah this morning made me want to do it all the more.

Grabbing my books out of my locker, I watched a photo of Savannah and I drop to the ground. The time frozen in the photograph was the time we went to the beach. I had just found out I was pregnant and I was scared beyond belief. I picked up the photograph off the floor slowly as a smile curved my lips. This girl was stronger than me in some ways...She provided me more strength than I ever have given someone.

I turned my head to the right when my right eye caught the view of an important object. I started at the photograph taped to the inside of my locker door. I smiled as I looked into the blue eyes of my daughter, then I quickly looked back at the photography in my hand. The anger and irritation that I felt about what Savannah said resurfaced. How could she say that about my beautiful girl?

I threw the picture back into my locker not caring if the picture got crumbled or ruined from the possible pressure of the books. Nor did I care if the picture got lost in all the junk mixed in my locker. Let's just say being a busy young adult mother who's only 18 and often tired does not mix well with my previous organizational skills.

Slamming my locker, I almost ran straight into Savannah when I turned around. Her face showed remorse, but mine had not settled in yet. I refused to acknowledge her as I sidestepped her and continued walking. I wasn't about to let her think that she could easily be forgiving for her offense.

The buzzing in my back pocket drew my attention from my irritated thoughts. Pulling my phone from my back pocket of my black jeans, I recognized the caller's number.

Slidding the green icon across the screen, I quickly place the phone up against my ear.

"What's up, babe?"

William's voice on the other end made my soul calm all of a sudden and momentarily forget about my building annoyance towards my best friend. I knew that he was typically in his history class at his college right now, so getting a call from him right now was a pleasant surprise.