Chasing Cars

Chapter Twenty Five

    After my outburst, it took thirty six missed calls, one hundred twenty four texts, and a platter of bakery cookies on my doorstep from Krystine to get me to speak to my friend again. "Andrew isn't dead," was the first thing I said to Krystine when I answered call number thirty seven. All I received in reply was a sad sigh, but I ignored it and pushed through the pain with a smile on my face.

I was in an uncharacteristically good mood, and Krystine's sigh had no negative effect on me whatsoever. In my three hours of ignoring my friend, I had built cement walls around my brain and nothing would be able to tear them down. Nothing would hurt me anymore. I think Krys was expecting me to be crying over the loss of my good friend, but why would I cry over someone who wasn't even dead? That's how I thought of it.

Now, despite the fact that I hadn't heard from him since before the fire, I just told myself he was too busy to answer and would shoot me a reply when he found the time. It sounded logical to me, although Krystine said nothing when I explained it to her. The guy had other friends, after all, and though he usually sent me a weird message at an extremely early hour every morning and I hadn't been receiving any, I just assumed he forgot. It was something he'd done daily since gracing my inbox with his presence, but I brushed it off and let it go.

I'd set his text alert to the sound of screeching monkeys, which meant I usually woke up at around four thirty to that beautiful sound. I had begun to rely on it as my alarm, but that wasn't working anymore. I had to admit, I missed it. It had become an expectation in my life and not having it was like not having an insane amount of food after school every day. It just couldn't be done. It was a complete game changer.

While I thought of it, I sent him a text. Karev: You over the early mornings or what? I asked. The text would remain unanswered of course, just like the one I'd sent on the way home after the fire. I'd be lying if I were to say I wasn't hoping for a response anyway. Absentmindedly, I ran my thumb over the jagged cracks in my phone, only realizing what I was doing when glass splinters pierced my skin.

"Great job!" I exclaimed aloud when my thumb began to bleed. "Aren't you just the smartest person to ever roll on this planet? You go, Karev. Someone's got to give you an award," I sighed, placing the phone on the counter and laughing at my own sarcasm. Searching for something to clean the mess up with, I made the injuries worse by using that hand to dig around the cupboards. My search efforts resulted in no success.

Careful to avoid smearing my messy thumb all over the walls, I rolled to the bathroom and found some paper towels. Glass splinters are extremely hard to see, and when I thought I'd finally gotten them all out, I'd find another one by brushing over it accidentally. Removing them was a painful process. Maybe I shouldn't have shattered my phone on the wall.

By the time I got all the splinters out and cleaned the mess, I'd used a small mountain of paper towels. Hurrying outside, I dumped them in the larger garbage can to avoid my mother ranting about my being "wasteful." It was a lecture I could deal with another time. After I was finished getting rid of the evidence, I searched around for a screen protector, and when I found one, I put in on my phone to avoid future glass attacks. Problem solved.

Leaning back in my chair was the only thing to do after I'd finished that "project." I felt like I was at a standstill in life. I couldn't talk to Krystine, as she'd probably figure out that I was still denying the death, and I don't really like a lot of the people at school so I couldn't talk to anyone else. I began to think of the fire, and how horrible it must have been when the ceiling began to fall on Nate and Andrew. I wondered if they saw it coming. If they knew it would hit them. If they tried to run from it but had nowhere to go.

"Oh, life. What a strange thing," I mused, spinning my chair and staring at the ceiling so I wouldn't get dizzy. Admiring the echo of my voice around the halls, I giggled darkly and took a deep breath. When my phone buzzed, it startled me with the notification sound. Having too much fun, I ignored it. Of course, I eventually got dizzy and pressed my hand against the wall to steady my breathing. A hateful cold chill went across my shoulders.