Dear Suicide...

Self Elimination

There must be something about me.

There must be something about the way that I am.

I'm not quite sure what it is, yet.

Whether it's my quirky demeanor,

or the verbose hyperactivity of my lips,

I just know that there's something about me.

______________________

As I reflect upon the awkwardness of my past,

I realized that I have driven everyone away.

All this time, I thought it wasn't me;

but I realized that I was the one

that pushed my childhood friendships to their fate.

Blinded by naivety,

I gradually caused everyone to close their doors.

_______________________

Now, guilt is clawing at me,

and, although it is bitter,

I just discovered the reason why the

folks of the world decide to distance themselves.

It's no one else's fault but mine.

I must teach myself to speak less and less.

I must train myself to not be forceful upon God's people.

I must learn to stop babbling about with  (a child's mind),

and wrap myself in a maturing chrysalis.

I must shed myself of the ugly inexperience

that makes people run the opposite way.

I must eliminate everything within me.