My boyfriend does my Make-up
Breakfast was certainly the time of the day that Bruce preferred: he was fully rested and he wasn't worrying about saving Gotham yet. All that mattered from 8 a.m to 8:30 a.m was his black, hot coffee and his buttered toast. No boring party as Bruce Wayne or exhausting patrol as Batman to think about. He was only enjoying, for this short amount of time, his life in his manor with his family.
...Or he would if his family was actually there to share this moment with him. He was not talking about his deceased parents here. He was talking about Alfred and Dick. His butler was already busy with the laundry, and Dick, well...He was on his computer. Again.
Bruce sighed and drunk his coffee. Then he heard a yell that surprised him so much that he spat the hot drink. It was Dick's yell.
Without losing any second, Bruce ran to the living room where he knew Dick was. The young man was looking at his screen, a look of complete terror painted on his face.
"What is it, Dick?" Bruce asked, worried about the one he considered as his son.
"...The...The Joker...." he stuttered, still terrified. "The Joker....Look...."
He pointed a trembling finger at his computer. Bruce took a look at it. Apparently, Dick had been surfing on Youtube...There was a list of Youtube channels in the front page.
One of them was Jack's channel.
"The Joker has a Youtube channel...he has a Youtube channel...a Youtube channel..." Dick repeated, still shocked by this discovery.
Bruce frowned and then clicked on Jack's channel, persuaded the lunatic would have filmed the people he had tortured and killed and that he would have put the videos on Youtube.
He was wrong.
Jack's channel was actually a make-up channel.
What. The. Fuck ?
Out of curiosity, Bruce clicked on the first video he saw. Jack's face appeared on screen. He wasn't wearing any make-up expect for his eyes, and he was smiling at the camera.
"Helloooo everyone!" he said, waving cheerfully with a somehow innocent and almost cute voice. "Today I'm gonna show you how to reproduce my lovely smoky eyes! First you'll need a-"
Bruce stopped the video and face-palmed.
Jack would be the end of him. Seriously, what kind of psychopathic killer was spending his spare time doing make-up tutorial on Youtube?
...Hum. Maybe he was plotting something. Maybe he was inducing people into buying make-up because he had put some poison in cosmetic products. Jack was always up to no good, he couldn't be trusted...
"I really hate putting the bat-suit on during day..." he sighed.
"Where are you going?" Dick asked, shutting his computer down.
"Arkham. I want to know what J is plotting." Batman never used Joker's real name if he wasn't alone with him, he always called him 'Joker' or 'J' if there was another person. Everybody called him that.
"You sure he just doesn't want to make some views on Youtube?"
Bruce raised an eyebrow at him.
"Okay, do whatever you want," Dick said. "Call me if you need help."
Bruce nodded silently and left.
***
An hour later, Batman was in front of Jack's cell, only to discover that it was empty. Damn it, Jack had escaped again...Why were the guards paid for, seriously? They couldn't keep an inmate for two days?
"WHERE IS HE?" he shouted angrily at no one in particular.
"Ya don't know?" Harley Quinn, who was in a nearby cell, said. "I thought ya were always supposed to know where he is, J is you're other half after all."
Her voice was bitter. Jack and she probably had a fight before he escaped, which would explain why the blonde girl was still there.
"Do you know where he is?" Batman asked dryly.
"Nope," she pouted, crossing her arms. "He refused to tell me. He just said he had something to do for his fans..."
"Great," he sighed.
He punched Jack's cell door, frustrated.
"Really, Batman, you disappoint me," the Riddler said from his own cell. "It's not exactly difficult to guess where J is..."
Batman turned to face the Riddler who was smirking. He hated that smirk. It always made him feel stupid.
"Riddle me this, 'Detective': what video does an owner of a make-up channel have to do at least once?"
"Why would I know that?"
"Ooooh I know this one!" Harley squealed, raising her hand. "I know it! Every owner of a make-up channel has to do a 'my boyfriend does my make-up' video!"
"Oooh, you should feel so bad to be less smart than Harley, Detective," the Riddler mocked.
"That doesn't tell me where the Joker is," Batman growled.
