Jack loves Batarangs
Batman had finally found Jack's hideout. The lunatic had been running freely through the streets of Gotham for too long, and it was time for him to go back to Arkham. Of course, Batman could have find his hideout much earlier – it usually never took him more than two days to find the clown- but after what happened last time he saw Jack, Batman had been...would he say it? He had been scared. It was pretty ironic, actually, given the fact that despite all the horrible things Jack had done in his life, it was a simple, sweet kiss from him that managed to scare the big bad bat...
But Batman didn't know how to feel.
He should be disgusted by the fact that such a monster could have some sort of feelings for him. But... the kiss hadn't been...bad. Oh, it hadn't been good either. It had just been...somehow... natural. As if Jack's lips were fated to end up against his own lips at some point. And it scared Batman. A lot.
That's why it took him so long to finally decide to look after Jack. He didn't want to face him. What if he kissed him again? Or worse? How would he react? He wasn't prepared to face such a situation. One week ago, he was sure that Jack only loved himself, and now...now Jack loved hi-
No. It wasn't love. It couldn't be love. It couldn't...It didn't make any sense!
Jack's current hideout was an old toy factory – how predictable. Batman walked pass numerous empty rooms, then he came across a locked door. Persuaded that Jack was hiding something important – and dangerous – in that room, Batman kicked the door open...
...Only to be greeted by an avalanche of batarangs, that fell loudly on him.
"Harley?" came Jack's voice. "What the hell are you doing? What is that noise?"
"Guh." Batman groaned, trying to free himself from the batarangs.
"Harl-"
Jack paused when he saw Batman. Then, as if he couldn't help it, he smiled wide.
"Why, hello there, handsome!" he said happily. "Hehe, you are not usually loud, I thought it was Harley!"
"Care to explain that?" Batman barked, finally managing to stand back on his feet.
"What?" Jack asked in a innocent tone.
"THAT." Batman said, pointing at the batarangs all spread on the floor. "What are you up to? Are you planning to use my own weapons on me?"
Jack shrugged and smiled.
"That's just my collection."
Batman stared at Jack. Then closed his eyes, pinched his nose and sighed. God, he was tired.
"Your...what?" he asked.
"My collection, Batsy!" Jack answered as if it was obvious. " Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you th-"
"Don't sing."
"Hehe, alright, alright...I kept every batarangs you threw at me since our first fight." he sighed dreamily. "They are like memories of our romantic encounters, hehe!"
Batman was speechless. Honestly, at this point, his brain had simply stopped to work. That was it. He was so done with Jack.
"Look, I even numbered them!" he took an old, rusty batarang and showed it proudly to Batman who couldn't care less. "Look! This one is the very first batarang you threw at me! I will cherish it for the rest of my life and- hey, where are you going?"
"Home." Batman said simply, already leaving the hideout.
Jack frowned.
"So you're being a coward again..."
Batman raised an eyebrow and turned to face Jack.
"Excuse me?" he said.
Jack crossed his arms.
"It's always the same with you, Bats! Every time I show you a tiny bit of affection, you flee! Why can't you just accept the fact that you mean the world to me?"
Batman looked away from Jack. What could he answer to that? That he was scared? That his rational minds couldn't possibly believe that his worst enemy could care about him?
"I'm sure you were afraid to see me again after the kiss I gave you last time," Jack continued, half-laughing. "That's why it took you so long to find me. Heh."
Damn it, he knew it too well.
"Batman..." Jack sighed, moving closer to the vigilante. "Darling....you have to let it go! Your life would be easier if you'd stop deny my feelings, and more importantly, yours! I just want you to be happy..."
In a sudden gesture, Batman took Jack by his throat and bared his teeth.
"Why...?" he whispered dangerously, his nose almost touching Jack's.
Despite his struggle to keep breathing, Jack and said:
"You....know...wh-why...." he smiled. "That's b-because I...lov-"
Batman tightened his grip even more on Jack's throat. He didn't want him to say it. He couldn't stand it. It was too hard for him to hear those words from such a terrible human being, who was supposed to be heartless. It was to hard to accept the fact that he was the only thing on earth that Jack loved.
He was terrified.
He violently threw Jack away from him. The clown laughed.
"HAHAHAHA! Oh, Batsy, you're just too cute!"
"Shut up."
"Are you blushing?"
"I'm not!" he barked.
Was he...?
"Ooooh lil' Batsy is embarrased! How cuuute!"
"I'm not!"
"Hey, will you blush more if I tell you what I do with those batarangs? Hehehehe! They can be very useful to, uh, release my tension..."
"You disgust me."
"Hehe, am I? You know, I wouldn't need the batarangs if you were there, Bats!"
"Stop that. You're crazy, Jack."
"Only for you, AND DON'T CALL ME JACK!" He batted his eyelashes, and Batman thought that they were way too long and thick for a man.
"Ok, you know what, Bats?" Jack finally said. "Why don't you give us a chance? Last time I took you by surprise with the kiss. My bad, I had forgotten for a moment that you liked everything to be planned and organized – how boring. Sssso this time, I propose that you kiss me by yourself."
"No way, Jack."
"Don't call me JACK! And what do you have to lose, Batsy? Are you afraid to actually like it?" he purred, licking his lips.
Batman eyebrow's twitched. Jack was right. Even if he would never say it out load, he was afraid to like it.
"...Fine." he said darkly.
It was time for him to stop being scared. He took Jack's frail shoulder and looked at him straight into his emerald eyes. To say that Jack was happy would be an euphemism.
Batman moved closer to the clown's lips. He took a deep breath, and...moved back.
Jack looked at him, confused.
"I'm sorry, Jack." Batman said. "I can't."
Jack looked furious.
"HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE YOU TO STOP BEING IN DENIAL, YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD?"
"..I...I'm sorry, Jack, try to understand, I can't love you. We can't love each other."
With that being said, he put the handcuffs around Jack's wrist and then placed him on the back seat of the batmobile. Both of them stayed silent during the entire trip to Arkham. Batman wanted to say something to break this uncomfortable silence, but he couldn't find the right words...
"...Visit me, okay?" Jack said quietly when Batman gave him to the guards.
After a few seconds, Batman finally nodded.
"I will,... Jack."
What Batman didn't tell him, was the real reason he was planning to go to Arkham soon...
