King and Court Jester
"A movie?"
"Yep!"
Bruce looked at Jack, confused. They had both agreed to do something together tonight – other than trying to kill each-other - and Bruce, being the gentleman he was, had let Jack decide what they should do.. The vigilante had expected something big and flamboyant like a whole theme park just for us or something, but apparently, the Joker simply wanted to watch a movie with him at home. That was unexpected.
"What movie?" Bruce asked, thinking that it couldn't be a movie he'd like – Jack's favorite movies were Disney movies, horror/thrillers, and extremely gore movies. Bruce hated it.
"A movie I made myself."
Bruce raised an eyebrow at him.
"What?"
"Well, it's more like an animated movie...What? You didn't think that killing people and stalking you were my only hobbies, right?"
Bruce sighed, and sat on the couch.
"Ok, fine, play your movie. I'm actually curious to see that."
Jack squealed and jumped besides Bruce on the couch, resting his head on his knight's broad shoulder. Bruce didn't move.
The movies started with a narrating voice – Jack's cutest voice:
"Once upon a time, in a far away land, lived a cruel king..."
A king all dressed in black appeared on the screen.
"Did you do the drawings yourself?" Bruce asked.
"Yes! Aren't I an artist?"
"Well, if you were five years old, maybe..."
Jack slapped him gently.
The movie went on:
"No one really liked him, and most of his subjects feared him. That's why a rebellion had started to emerge among the people of the court. The leader was a gorgeous, fabulous, beautiful, funny jester."
The Jester appeared on the screen, and Bruce could see that it was supposed to be a representation of the Joker, even though the drawing was terrible.
"The king shall die!" the Jester shouted to the rest of the court. "Tonight, I will sneak into his room, and stab him where his heart should have been if he had one!"
The court cheered.
"Wait, am I supposed to be the king?" Bruce suddenly said.
Jack nodded happily.
"I'm not cruel!" he barked.
"Shht! I'm trying to watch the movie!"
"You already know the movie, you made it yourself!"
"ShhhhhhHHHHHT!"
Bruce growled but obeyed, crossing his arms.
The Jester managed to sneak into the king's bedroom. He raised his knife, but just before he could actually stab him, he took a glance at the king's sleeping face. His pupils expanded immediately. He took a few step back, and dropped his knife.
"He's...gorgeous..." the Jester whispered.
He shook his head.
"No, he's my enemy, I have to kill him!"
He eyed the king's face again.
"But..." he said, caressing the king's cheek. "I can't..."
Then he started to sing something that went like 'is it really what they call love at first sight?'. Bruce sighed.
"How cliché. Really, this thing looks like it had been written by a little girl!"
"Oh, wait for what's going to happen next, darling, hehehe..."
Bruce didn't like the look on Jack's face.
In the movie, the king finally woke up, just after the Jester was done with his cheesy song. Both of them stared at each-other for a long, long time. But before the king could call his guards, the Jester jumped on top of him and crashed his lips against his.
"What the..." Bruce said.
"Ahhh my favorite part of the game!" Jack squealed.
Bruce was enable to look away from the movie, which had apparently now turned into a very weird...porn.
"Ahn, my kiiing, yessss!"
"Jester...oh god, Jester!"
"KING!"
"ENOUGH!" Bruce shouted, turning the TV off.
"Baaaaats!!! We were getting to the part where the king took the whip and-"
"Enough, enough, ENOUGH! What's wrong with you?"
Jack frowned.
"What's wrong with you! I just made a porn about us, and you find that disgusting?"
"It's not disgusting. It's...disturbing. It's like watching us doing...stuffs. I don't like that."
Jack giggled.
"Such a prude. Heh, I guess you don't wanna see our sex-tape, then?"
Bruce's eyes widened. Did Jack really film them when they were...
"HEHEHEHE! I'm kidding, Bats, I'm kidding! HAHAHA! You should have seen your faaaace hahahahahaha!!"
"Mhf...I'm going to bed."
"Aw, c'mon, Batsy, don't be mad at me!"
"You sleep on the couch tonight."
"What? No you sleep on the couch!"
"It's my house. I decide who sleeps in the master's bed, and who sleeps on the couch."
"And I'm your wife, I'm supposed to make you sleep on the couch when you do something that upsets me!"
"First of all, you're not my wife. Secondly, you are the one who did something that upsets me. So, good night, Jack."
Jack crossed his arms while Bruce was leaving the living room to go to his room.
"Hmf! The king really is cruel!" he muttered. "Wait until I sneak into your room to kill you, you heartless bastard!" he shouted.
He smiled. Sneaking into his room...and reenacting the movie...
Hehehehehe.
Now THAT was a brilliant idea!
