*A/N: sorry I didn't upload a one shot in a looong time, but, here is a oneshot story and I hope you guys will like it!*
Joker walked into the Batcave, he snuck in in Wayne manor and found the entrance to the Batcave. Bruce sat on his chair at his desk, looking at the Batcomputer for information about the Riddlers new plan. He and penguin started to work on a plan together and Batman couldn't solve the riddles they gave him.
Joker ran to Bruce and jumped into his lap, making Bruce almost jump up out of reflexes.
"Hiya Bats!"
"How the hell did you get in here?!"
"Oh you know, just some windows on the top floor!... I broke them and snuck in!"
"...I also have windows on the first floor, why didn't you break those?"
"I thought the roof was more fun! I felt like Santa Claus!"
"Santa Clause is fake..."
"With that spirit he is yeah... party pooper, no presents for you this year!"
"What are you doing here exactly?"
"I came here to help you! Yknow, some grumpy bat stuff!"
"I'm not grumpy."
"I'm not grumpy!" Joker repeated with a low grumpy voice, trying to parrot Bruce.
"I don't sound like that."
"I don't sound like that!"
"Stop or I'll lock you up in the Batmobile..."
"Please don't! It smells like there's a ton of expired cookies and milk in there!"
"Robin likes to eat cookies and drink milk if he has to wait for me if we go on patrol..."
"You need to clean it!"
"Can you just say why you're here?"
The Batcomputer made a sound. A new message from the Riddler appeared on screen.
Riddle me this: I make way too much noise for you, and you like to see me blue. I'm something you'll always fight, I'm an annoying little kid, right? What am I?
Joker read the message. "Does Eddie always send you riddles like this?"
"No, this one is too easy... he knows you're here..."
"What? Why? How?"
"I don't know but the answer to this riddle is you."
"I'm not annoying!"
"You are right now!"
"How does he know I'm here?"
Another message appeared on the screen.
Riddle me this: I see everything and follow you around, you don't notice me and I and you give me sound. I'm planted deep inside your head, and I send data over the net. What am I... or should I say, what did I..?
Bruce looked at the Joker. "What did he do to you?"
"Nothing! I swear!"
"Why are these riddles so hard?"
"They aren't hard if you know Eddie's logic, like me! Look, it sees everything and I have to make sounds to give the thing sounds... it gies over the net and it's inside me..... goddamnit Eddie, did you fuking chip me?!"
Another message appeared on the screen.
Yes.
"Well, there you have your answer on the riddle, detective."
Only I can call him detective.
"Eddie shut up! What do you want from us and when the fuck did you chip me?!"
"Joker, relax..." Bruce grabbed Jokers shoulders and shook him really fast. "WHAT YOU WANT FROM US?!"
"Ahhhh Baaaatsss! Stoooop shaking meeeh!"
Bruce stopped shaking but still held Joker for a while because he was really dizzy.
Another message appeared on the screen.
Riddle me this: you two are like a lock and a key or a bird and its wings, without each other you can't do important things...
And I chipped you when you fell asleep at the monthly villain slumber party.
"I knew you guys would do something to me!"
"Joker, you're the only one of us both who can solve the most riddles, what does he want from us?"
"Something with working together... but why the hell did you chip me? I'm not your dog, Eddie!... okay don't answer that, please. Just get the chip out of me when I find you or I'll kill yo-"
"Joker! We need to work this out, you have to solve more riddles!"
"Fine! But I want a snack for that!" Joker sighed.
Another message appeared on the screen.
You really are a dog, Jokey.
"Fuck you!"
Bruce grabbed Jokers arm and put him on a chair.
"Hey hey heyyyy what the fuck are you doing?!" Joker whined when he heard the clicking sounds of handcuffs.
"You're gonna solve those riddles so we know where the Riddler and Penguin are."
"What? No! I refuse to do that! Fuck you!"
"Look, if we find them, I can bring them to Arkham and you can get that chip removed!"
"Why would I want that? It's not like he hears and sees everything!"
A new message appeared on the screen.
Uh I hear and see EVERYTHING.... and dude, stop doing that one thing if you shower, you're suppose to get clean by it, not to fuckin.... find yourself a girlfriend!
Joker laughed nervously. "Hehe I do nooothing when I showeeeer.... and FUCK YOU ED!"
"Wait you use the shower to...?"
"SHUT UP AND LET ME SOLVE THOSE RIDDLES!"
"Okay okay! No need to scream at me."
Joker started to look at the riddles. After a couple minutes he looked at Bruce.
"What?" Bruce said while he drank a cup of coffee.
"What if I just give you the wrong answers and go to the right places without you?"
"One, you're handcuffed and chipped, you can't escape. Two, I'll tell everybody about your shower routine..."
"That's NOT cool!"
"Hey, you're doing it."
"Can I have at least a sip of your coffee?"
"I can give you your own?"
"No, I want yours."
"Okay?" Bruce brought the cup closer to Jokers mouth. Joker took a sip and spit it out.
"What the... why you're doing that?"
"I don't even like coffee!"
"Why did you want my coffee then?!"
"I thought it would taste like you, but it tastes like normal coffee... and I thought poison tasted bad!"
