Finding Us

Chapter Nine

She wasn't sure what they were, but she knew it felt wonderful to kiss him, scary almost, but like a dream. She tip-toed up the stair case, past Gretchen typing away in her office. Most of the girls were in their rooms, considering it was lights out at 11. When she got into her room she found the three girls she shared a room with laying on their beds laughing. Jenny smiled at her and the others just looked away with scorn. She didn't care about them anyways, what did she care? She was getting her things ready for the shower when one of the girls spoke in her direction.

"Where were you? You do realize it's past eight o' clock.", They spewed their venom at her any chance they got. Lacey stayed quiet, she wouldn't let them make her any different from the group than she already did, "I mean, I know you're stupid, but are you deaf too?" The two girls busted out into laughter, but it was cut short by Jenny's shout of rage

"Enough! Quite frankly, it's none of your business! She doesn't answer to you or your vein little brain. Maybe if you weren't so consumed with "looking pretty", then you could get your head out of your butt enough to realize just how shallow minded you really are laughing at a girl who's actually living her life instead of being controlled by a prissy organization that won't even matter in 5 years!"

The two girls went speechless and Lacey whipped around in time to see them shocked with their mouths hanging open. Jenny smiled at Lacey and went back to reading a book. Instead of going into the bathroom and crying, another emotion began welling inside of her. Confidence. She looked in the mirror and for the first time since she could remember, she was happy with herself. Even if only for a small moment, it meant something.

That night as she lay in the dark of the room, she looked up at the same sky that had mesmerized her just a few hours ago. The sky was never ending, just like her Heavenly Father. Moments like these, she wished she had stayed true to her beliefs like her sister had. Granite, Maia had never rubbed it in her face or made her feel guilty, but she knew the truth. She felt distant from God. She knew what was important in life, but she'd lost sight of that the first time her dad had ever hit her. Instinctively, she rubbed the spot on her upper arm. The bruises and swelling were long gone, but the memories would forever linger....

She had just turned 13 and had finally made a new friend- being social had never been one of her strong suit. Bounding through the door from school to share the good news, she found her mom and dad in the kitchen, her mother was crying. That wasn't anything new and after seeing her dad hit her mom at least a dozen times, she knew her dad had drank too much.

"Momma?"

"I'm okay, sweetie. Go play."

"I made a new friend!" She said half excitedly

"Didn't your momma tell you to go play?" Her dad snapped and banged his fist on the counter

She jumped and backed up a little bit, even when her dad was drunk, he wasn't loving so she was used to this behavior. Her mother was angry, though and snapped at him, "Enough Gerald! You don't have to do that."

In a split second, in a manner that was slow motion and sped up in her eyes all at one, he came across the kitchen and back handed her mother. Lacey jumped forward without even thinking and grabbed her dads arm, "No, stop!" She pleaded

Before she could even take another breath, her dad back handed her in the face and she went flying into the counter, where she landed on her arm....

Her sister had thought she'd broken it, but thankfully she hadn't. She missed school for the rest of the week though, to avoid questions. Soon after that, her, her sister, and her mom had left, right along with her relationship with God. Her dad was in prison now for a long time, where he deserved to be. That would never make up for the person he was, why hadn't God just intervened? Thirteen years, thirteen years of mental and physical abuse, six years since it had all ended, and she hadn't been the same. She shut everyone out, including God. So many nights spent praying for her mom, her sister, even her dad and all she felt was pain. She still didn't know why.