He's Gone.

That Should Be Me.

 Its been a week since we've gone to Cali. Everything has been going good so far but i wont be surprised if that changes. Trouble always seems to find me.

 Its been nice having Taryn with me. I dont feel as left out since im no longer the only girl. We have so much fun together. You know, the usual. Get our hair and nails done, go to the skate park and try to find hot boys (for Taryn).

 Everything has been going great with me and Prod too. We've gotten closer since everything that's happened but i still keep my guard up. I guess im so used to being hurt i forgot what it felt like to be loved. Sometimes i wonder if i'll ever be able to do that. If ill be able to love and better yet, be loved. If ill ever be able to trust again.

 But things between me and the other boys have been weird lately. Usually theyre always smuggling me. I cant even breathe without them being there. But eversince i overheard Prodigy and Roc targuing in the kitchen theyve been keeping their distance.

~ In Bed ~

*Looks over at Prod* What did you say to Roc?"

 "When?" he asked, confused on what i was referring to.

 "You know, the other night when you guys were arguing."

 "Oh nothing."

 "Nothing? Theres always something going on."

 "Well nothing you need to know." he snapped.

 "Ya sure about that?." I said trying to pull it out of him.

 "Listen, just stay out it OK? Whatever was said was between me and Roc. Its none of your concern."

 Wow he can really be a butthole sometimes. "I didnt know it would hurt to ask a simple question." I said, with  a bit of an attitude surfacing.

 "Why do you wanna know anyways?"

 "Screw it, OK? Just leave me alone." I turned my back to him. "Im going to sleep."

 "Fine with me." he said doing the same. I rolled my eyes. If only he wasnt such a tough guy.

 ~ Next Day~

 I woke up early this morning at around 6:00 AM. After i showered and continued the cycle i went to the breakfast table. There was eggs, bacon and waffles. I guess we ran out of pancakes. I took my spot next to Roc. Only me, Roc and Prince were up. Everyone else was still sleeping.

 "Hey, why did you Prod get into that arguement?" i asked trying to start small talk.

 "Well he kinda thought we were closer than we should be but its OK. We straightened everything out."

 "Wait, who?"

 "Me and you." he said smiling a bit.

 After breakfast we just sat around and watched TV. I was bored and wanted to do something so i want to find Taryn. I looked in her room and she wasnt there. I went to Ray's room to ask if he'd seen her but i knew where she was now. The two of them were cuddled up together and looked so cute. I let out an "Awww."

 "What?" asked Roc curiously, headed my way. When he got to where i was and saw Ray and Taryn all lovey dovey you could see his facial expression change. All the warmth drained from his body and his smile faded. Roc really liked Taryn and has been tryin to get with her ever since he met her. But she didnt feel the same way he did. She wanted nothing to do with him at all.

 Roc stormed off into his room and shut the door behind him. After that we didnt hear much from him.

~ Dinner ~

 "Where's Roc?" asked Taryn as we all gathered in our seats for dinner. I hadnt told her about the whole incident with Roc storming off and how i thought he'd probably hate Ray forever.

 "Oh, he's just in his room. He's not feeling well." I covered.

 "Oh. Well ill go bring dinner to him." said Taryn getting up to leave.

 "NO, NO, NO!" i said hopping out of my seat, pushing my hand out as if i were a cross guard. "You stay right here. Ill do it!" I insisted, grabbing the plate in front of his cold seat and sprinting towards his room.

 I knocked on the door.

 "Come in unless your Taryn or Ray Ray." said a dull, lifeless voice muffled by sheets that draped over his head. I entered the room.

 "Here's your dinner."

 "What'd he make?" he asked, somewhat intrigued.

 "Homemade mac and cheese, chicken and colligreens. BTW Keisha made it."

 He popped up from under the sheets and jumped foward, snatching the plate from my hands.

 "How rude. Not even a thank you." i said shaking my head.

 "Thank you." he said stuffing his face with chicken.

 I smiled and walked out of the room.

 After we finished dinner we all decided to go somewhere we never have. Somewhere fun. Me and Taryn have never been to Disneyland so the boys wanted to take us. We convinced Roc to tag along but things werent the same. The whole time he was quiet and sort of distant. I never seen him like this and hated every moment of it.

 As for Ray and Taryn, the only thing i could say was AWKWARD. They were super close and isolated theirselves from us most of the time. Roc just observed as they enjoyed eachother's company.

~ Roc POV ~\

 I watched as Taryn and Ray smothered eachother. This was making me sick to my stomach. Out of everyone she chose him. HIM! She chose HIM over ME! I dont know if this is wrong or not, but i felt some type of way. As i watched them all i could think was that should be me.

 That should be me holding your hand. That should be me making you laugh. That should be me, this is so sad. That should be me, that should be me. That should be me felling your kiss. That should be me buying you gifts. This is so wrong, I cant go on, til you agree that, that should be me.

 Everything about her is her is perfect. The way the sun hits against her mocca skin. The way her beautiful, long, bright red hair flows in the breeze. The way her green eyes shine in the moonlight. The way she snorts when laughs. How graceful she is when she walks. Actually everything she does is graceful. When she eats, sleeps, dances, the way she flips her hair. Shes the girl of my dreams and i cant have her.

 If only i could get her to see, i thought to myself, that should be me.