tonight tonight // yuri!!! on ice

|5|

it was the night before one of his trials. he was so close to victory; i could feel it in my bones. but lately the stars had appeared in his brown, brown eyes every time he looked at me and my head wasn't clear.

that night we were leaving a restaurant, my heart thumping with regret for not bringing her along, when yuri turned to me, his bright teeth flash. "sometimes i almost can't believe you're really here, Victor."

i grinned. he still couldn't remember his damned pole dance.

my chest constricted, like i was doing something wrong. spending new times with old memories, while leaving my future empty at a hotel. my gaze wondered to yuri's sneakers, desperate to clear what was drowning me.

my eyes moved, up his dark jeans to his swaying hands, sleeves rolled up in the humid air. his wrist pale... unblemished...

blank.

"uh, y-yuri?"

He glanced at me, at where i was staring. his cheeks flushed, his sleeve pulled down in angry frustration. his breath was leaving him in huffs, his glasses fallen halfway down his nose.

"what? i-it's not like it matters..."

a soul. without a soulmate.

my dull ache was replaced with a sickening crack.

fat tear drops rolled down his face, his lips trembling as he tried to continue on how it wasn't of concern. as he tried to mouth that he didn't need one.

"i-it's always b-been like this, s-so it isn't a b-big deal-"

"yuri."

suddenly my hands were on his face, covered in the water of his sorrows, fingers wiping away under his eyelashes as i gazed at him.

ice skaters have glass hearts.

then he was breaking in my arms, shouting about how he'd never had one and he never would. sobbing the truth into my already caving heart, saying how love would never be his. how he didn't know what he ever did to deserve this.

yet ours were already broken. .

*

Finally angst again!
Major thanks to the ppl motivating me to update y'all are why I live tbh
Instagram, in case anyone wants to stalker me; p.astel.cactus
{PS, if you guys haven't listened to tonight tonight by the smashing pumpkins, you haven't liVEd}