Her (A Severus Snape fanfiction)

II.

[winter fourth year]

     The path to Hogsmeade village was coated with snow from storm the day before. Though the snow made it more of a challenge to walk, it's was truly a beautiful sight. Though I never much cared for winter. Being more of a spring and summer kind of person. But snow was nice to have, in small doses.

"May!" I was pulled from my thoughts as I was called. I turn to see Lily tuning toward me, her burning auburn hair flurried around her. Severus not being to far behind either. "Can we join you?" She says glancing back to Severus. I looked between the both of them, hesitant, but eventually I nod.

"What are you going to Hogsmeade for?"

"Well I thought I could visit Tomes and Scrolls. Maybe buy a book or two. Then possibly visit Honeydukes."

"I've been to Honeydukes and there sweets are fantastic. I'm meeting a few friends and we're going there today. Care to join?" I was surprised by her offer but declined by shaking my head.

"I'm quite surprised that your father didn't place a small branch of your family's company out here. Everyone would have love the array of chocolates and sweets you offer." I hear Severus' low monotone voice.

"Your father owns a chocolate shop?" Lily's eyes grew wide.

"Have you not heard of Rivers Edge? It quite big in both the muggle and wizarding worlds." Severus explains.

"That's incredible. May you have to bring us some when you come back from holidays."

"It's not that amazing, and I'll try." I say giving a small laugh.

"Lily!" Three other gryffindor girls were standing outside of Honeydukes, waving her over. "Come on we've been waiting!"

She waved to them and signaled for one more moment. "That's them. I'll see you two later." She gave a smile and walked toward them.

"Mind if I join you?" Severus pointed up and I see we had come to stop in front of Tomes and Scrolls. My face heated slightly at the thought of Severus spending the day with me. But before I put fueled an awkward situation, I take a few steps forward toward the door.

"If you want to." I say. I look back to see him smile, which caused my heart to skip a beat and face flush even harder. I push the door open and was met with the familiar chime of the bell.

"Hello children. Welcome to Tomes and Scrolls. Are we looking for anything in particular?" A tall lanky man had came from the back of the shop caring several books.

"No just browsing. But if we do need help I'll come to you." I gave a smile as he lowered his head slightly and returned to his books. I head to the second floor remembering a book I once saw on my last Hogsmeade trip.

It took some time but I found it once more: Charms of Defence and Deterrence by Catullus Spangle. I run my hand over the hard cover of the book. The royal blue was quite eye catching and it complimented the yellow-gold print embedded in it.

"That's quite a book you have there." Severus look down at me. I hadn't noticed he was there . He frighten me a bit causing me to clutch the book closer to me. "Far beyond anyone's magical ability from our year."

"It's not that hard. I intended to learn and exceed well in it." I raise my eyes from the book and connect with Severus. I haven't fully looked at him since the day we were partners in potions two years ago. Until now. His dark eyes were always wondrous to behold. So much lingers behind them. The pain from his childhood to the fondness he has for Lily. They both made my heart pinch a little.

"Why is it that I feel as though you're looking deep within me?" Severus broke my thoughts. I blink a couple times before looking back.

"Sorry." I feel my cheeks become flush. "That's embarrassing." I bring a cool hand to my face. Severus lets out a small laugh, which causes me to redden more. "Are you finished? Have you found a book?"

He nods and hold up the book in his hand. Most Potent Potions. "Quite fitting." I say and lead the way down the stairs to the counter. With how tall the owner was, he seemed hard to find. I see the bell on the counter, 'Ring for help', and tap it.

"Ah are we ready?" His sprang up from behind the counter causing Severus and I to jump.

"Oh Merlin." I hear Severus whisper.

"Yes." I say collecting myself once more. "I came here earlier in the year, and put some books on hold. I'd like to have them now."

"Name?" He asked pulling a leather journal from under the counter.

"Rivers. May Rivers." He makes a small hmm before ducking down and rummaged for a bit. He straightened himself up setting down the several books, I had waiting, tied together with twine.

"Right then. One Enchanted Encounters, Olde and Forgotten Bewitchments and Charmes, The Healers Helpmate, Self-Defensive Spells, Healing at Home with Herbs, The Book of Charms Spells, and Curses and Counter-Curses." He eyes me up and down. "That will be fourteen galleons." Digging in my pock and I pull out the currency and hand it to him. "Thank you for your purchase. Enjoy your books. It's always good to meet a fellow Ravenclaw." He says placing my books in a paper bag.

"I'm not a Ravenclaw. I'm a Gryffindor." He's face made a rather confused look at my statement. "Thank you." I take the bag and turn to find Severus gone. The book he had wanted was discarded on one of the steps, leading upstairs. I picked it up and wondered when he had left. I look  out the shops window. I see him walking away, back toward the school. I had no idea what compelled me to make my next decision. "I'd like to buy this one as well." I say and place the copy of Most Potent Potions on the counter.
---

"Severus!" He was halfway back to Hogwarts by the time I caught up to him. My legs were cold and ached from run through the snow covered pathway. He stopped, turning at the sound of my voice. Once stopped I huff a few times the cold air burning my throat, before straightening up. "What happened? You left your book."

"I decided against it. But I also forgot that I need to do some unfinished homework." He looked away and continued to walk. I trudged after him. My mouth opens to say something but no words came out. I've never tried so hard to interact with anyone besides my family before. He was the only exception. He was intriguing and attracted my attention more than anyone. He was someone I wanted to protect. I.

"I have something to say." I pick up my pace seeing that he wasn't going to stop. "You see I have never been," I tried to keep up but my legs were going more tired by the minute. So I opted for my next best choice. With what strength I had left I passed him and turn to him holding out my arm. Stopping him from going any further. "I have never been bewitched in such a way."

"If you think I have jinxed or hexed you then you are clearly mistaken." He defended himself.

"No. N-not bewitched, more enchanted." I hung my head low, appalled at my choice of words. I sigh once more before continuing. "I have never tried so hard before. To capture someone else's attention. Or to even be noticed. Except for you, Severus. I know I could babel on about this for hours and would get nowhere in my explanation. So here in it is." I froze. Am I really going to say this? I close my eyes and breathe deep. Opening my emerald eyes, I met his onyx ones. "I like you. A lot more then I should. More than just friends." His emotions ran wild. Confusion crossed his face, more than once. Then shock and guilt. the wheel passed slowly over consideration, but stopped on the need to compare.

I felt his pain once more and Lily flooded his mind. I was nothing like her. The almost complete opposite. A pureblood, dark hair, dark green eyes. Yet I was in gryffindor, and the same year. He knew nothing about me, other than my family line. But what I could see ,and practically already knew, was that I wasn't her.

I realized what I had done and looked to the ground. Embarrassment and regret filled me, causing my face to redden. "I. Ah." Turning on my heel I briskly walked away, frustrated with myself. Why did I say that? What was I thinking? Why must I feel this way?