Birgitta the Nun

Part 48 - The Cape

The next day was as clear as the last and they continued their journey without digression. By now Birgitta was the untold captain of the cart and she placed herself behind the reins. The wizard sat next to her, leaning her shoulder against the frame of the cart, and they set off. She took out her pipe and puffed away, as she let one of her long legs fall outside her seat and dangle from the cart. Her toes barely scraped the moving ground.

"What would you do with a gold watch anyway?" Birgitta didn't smile as she picked up the matter from yesterday.

"What would anyone do with a gold watch? Feel like a queen, of course."

"But you're no queen, are you? I admit your robe is a colorful matter - probably created in a world full of imagination - but no," Birgitta shook her head, "a gold watch would have weighed you down."

"That would have been a good thing, wouldn't it? In all my loftiness?"

"No—" Birgitta continued to shake her head, "you should have asked for something—something characterizing, like a cloak. Yes—a cloak does suit a wizard—any color but gold."

"Well, I did own a cape once," the wizard said and took on an important expression. She blew a mouthful of smoke inside the cart and watched it form a cloud under the roof.

"A cape is a grand thing against the draught, but it's not a cloak. You can't dramatize—did it even have a hood?"

"No."

"You see?"

"But it wasn't just any cape—" the wizard picked up some energy as she explained, "it was magical. As a matter of fact, I once happened to own a cape of invisibility."

"I don't believe you." Birgitta wasn't even upset by the obvious invention.

"I know—but this was a hundred years ago. I was young and didn't know how to appreciate it." Charlie raised her arms like wings. Then, swooshing one arm in front of her face, she draped herself as if in an invisible cape.

"Those things aren't for sale you know," Birgitta sighed, as to an obnoxious child. "You can't just buy one and give it to your introverted daughter."

"Who says anything about buying?" Charlie lowered her arms, "I got it from my aunt, the only wizard in the family apart from me."

"So I say—"

"So you say what?" the wizard retorted.

"It must have felt incredible," Birgitta quickly picked up. She really didn't want to know more about the confused matter, but the wizard persisted:

"I agree - it should have felt incredible. Strangely though, the cape made me feel cold and bare. I thought invisibility was supposed to be warming, and give you a magical glow. But no—this cape only made me feel cool—not cool as in awesome, but cool as in chilly. Transparency made me shiver like a ghost, no pun intended."

"Well, one should get used to it—if I had a cape of invisibility, I would wear it all the time, never to take it off."

"Would you now?" the wizard said as she leaned out of the cart to spit on the passing ground. "And who would you be hiding from Birgitta? Yourself? Inside the monastery? The cat and your shadow are the only ones who know you exist."

"Perhaps it is so—but sometimes my shadow bugs me," Birgitta replied. "Nevertheless, what did you do with it? You could have owned the world with that thing."

"It's not that easy—owning the world," Charlie said with some afterthought. "It's still an uphill battle—and I didn't know where to begin. Ideas don't suddenly start falling on your head, just because you have a cape of invisibility."

"It doesn't make you any smarter, eh?"

Charlie ignored the wicked nun, but continued to explain:

"At any rate—so, I thought long and hard about robbing my mother - my rich but not so loving mother - but no, I couldn't. Maybe it would be like robbing myself? I don't know. It just felt wrong, or maybe weird would be the right word—" the wizard broke off. Her eyes went out of focus and she stared vacantly at the ground, as it were, reliving her wrongdoings. Then, she lifted her gaze and continued with heat, "Instead, I decided to rob this despicable person, a friend of the family. Though this person did treat me to tea sometimes, and sparkling wine - but never Champagne - I figured I wouldn't feel sorry for her, and I wouldn't regret it later. She was a despicable person after all—and I went ahead and made up a plan.

"Let me tell you Birgitta—" the wizard inhaled some smoke, "it's hard work robbing someone, maybe even harder than actual work. Despite being invisible. One has to make a up plan, a scheme and a schedule, and get the right equipment. Then comes the waiting, the lo—ong waiting, for just the right moment. And then the alarm clock—cursed alarm clock. I actually thought I'd get rid of that tick-tock-thing after quitting school. But no—here I was, free as a bird, and still that tyrant kept ringing in my ears." She snorted, then, "I wonder if I ever will be free of that hell-bell? Is anyone free of alarm?"

"Wait—" Birgitta interrupted, "you've still got that thing—the alarm clock? Living in the woods and all?"

"Yes, well—bread doesn't bake itself. I like to have my bread fresh. And then you need to have a timer and so on—never mind. Where was I?"

"Alarm clock?"

"Sure, right," the wizard continued. "Then, when it is time to set to work, to carry out your scheme, you start to feel sick, cold and nervous. But you still have to put on your cape of invisibility and get going, and make sure you get to work on time - just like any other regular work."

"Well, not really—"

"I don't like work," the wizard continued, not hearing Birgitta. "I despise slaving for my existence. Actually, I don't like my existence that much either, but this cape made me think I might get along with my being, at least for one day. At least for one job—"

"So did you do it?" Birgitta urged, by now not hiding her curiosity. "Did you actually rob her?"

"Well, I sort of did. Let me tell you dear Birgitta— " Charlie made herself comfortable against the frame of the cart. She took a long pull on her pipe, then continued, "Let me tell you—I used to work for this despicable person. By chopping wood from morning to evening—no end. 'My dear, you have gone to seed,' she would say, observing me. 'You have become slovenly.' The fact that I had just been chopping wood would not be taken into consideration. And I, with my sweaty face, wouldn't know what to say. It made me really depressed, and I almost thought about hanging myself, then and there, in her shed, where all the finely chopped wood was stored in neat little rows and stacks—but I was too tired. And I didn't know how to make a knot—so I started being lazy instead. It did the trick and finally she let me go."

"But you weren't her prisoner—you could have just quit?"

"You wouldn't know about it, dear Birgitta. I'll tell you—working for a friend of the family is even harder than working for a complete stranger. All strings attached make your seemingly easy job a real exercise.

"So then I was out of work," the wizard continued after a pause, "and invisible - a combination I was trying to make use of. Maybe crime and robbing isn't what most people would do with that ability—"

"Crime and robbing is probably EXACTLY what most people would do with that ability," Birgitta resolved.

"Huh—" The wizard looked at Birgitta. "I guess you're right. So I guess I wasn't that special after all. I was just a regular, invisible, wizard—" She let the simple fact sink in, then let out another, "Huh," before resuming—