Birgitta the Nun

Book 4, Part 55 - Madeleine

Madeleine, the newest recruit of the monastery, had been put in charge when the abbess went away. This allotted her with three main concerns. Firstly, the cats, who were always hungry and regularly getting themselves stuck in some tree or other. Secondly, Petra the cook, who was a minx and in need of heaps of praise to keep up his servings. Lastly, her fellow sisters, who really were no concern at all, mostly praying and minding their own business.

Well—this was not entirely true. There was a certain Sœur Pristine, giving Madeleine terrible distress at times. She stalked the corridors in the most bothersome manner, patrolling up and down, as if watching for an eventual intruder. She was the cleanest nun Madeleine would ever meet, the correctest postulant there was for miles, and Madeleine didn't dare to question her activity. Despite her crooked teeth and her extremely old and torn vestment, her soul was as spotless as fresh snow. Or so it appeared—

Pristine questioned the abbess' leaving the monastery to go after a simple nun - and a cat at that. The convent was her place and her responsibility, and she would be damned if she abandoned it! Of course, Sœur Pristine did not utter these words out loud, but they were written with large letters in her open face. In her zealousness, resolved to conquer all.

Since the abbess' leaving, Pristine had made it a practicing habit to open all the mail of the monastery. This didn't go against regulations, though no one would recommend it. But she felt it her duty to keep her eyes and ears open since the monastery stood without its leader, and hence somewhat crippled.

As a consequence, Pristine had had the honor of receiving some pretty bills, sent from several hotels, in the name of Birgitta. These didn't work in the the abbess' favor. Birgitta was her responsibility, and so long as she belonged to the monastery she stood under the influence of the abbess.

Madeleine shut the door to the holy office, turned the key, and walked down the long hallway. She took a turn to the left and stretched her legs to hasten her speed, when a figure crept up alongside of her. It was Pristine. The very old nun had a way of walking that came close to floating. The only sound escaping her trail was a weak scraping of the torn hem of her vestment against the floor. Madeleine started.

"You come from the abbess' office?" Pristine asked, moving closer.

"Yes," Madeleine hesitated.

"And are we close to ruin yet?"

"What do you mean?" Madeleine hurried her steps. She considered making a run for it, to escape the hostile interrogation. Then she considered her pledged position - perhaps it was her duty now, to come to a halt, and accept the challenge? Unable to make up her mind, she turned to the tormenting Pristine with pleading eyes, encouraging the old woman to vent her troubles, but still not staying to listen. And so, the two nuns ended up walking sideways along the corridor, facing each other like two crabs in combat.

"What I mean is - are we in debt yet?" Pristine continued. "Maybe some ministry will come and take the convent over?"

"I wouldn't think so," Madeleine tried to sound confident. "No debt could do that. What are you getting at, really?" She knew exactly what Pristine was getting at. Still, she preferred to cling to denial, "I don't have time for unreal matters. Please, if you have some business, do declare it."

"I have been in contact with some hotels," Pristine lied. "Or rather, they have been in contact with me—did you know that our traveling, fellow nuns are making a luxurious matter of it? Bills are being sent this way, and the convent is supposed to put up with it."

"That cannot be—" Madeleine was taken aback. The surprise did not come so much from the news of the bills, but from the fact that people might have turned to Pristine - and not to her, Madeleine - with their businesses.

"Yes, that is so," Pristine continued. "I have—" But she didn't have time to finish before Madeleine burst:

"Why would anyone be in contact with you? Anyone with a complaint regarding the monastery should be in contact with me - the one in charge."

"Money means a lot these days, you know," Pristine drawled, "even to a non-materialistic monastery. Perhaps you have been neglecting—and perhaps people seeking business have turned elsewhere?"

"But the bills are so small," Madeleine complained, and forgot about her pretending not to know. "They surely can't be a problem—Birgitta didn't even order room-service."

"And our budget is small as well. In fact, the monastery doesn't even have a budget—"

"Well of course it doesn't—this is not an enterprise we dwell at. What will you ask for next - a business plan?"

"I might as well." Pristine lifted her hand to study her cracked nails. "You can't both have your cookie and give it to charity."

"Ridiculous," Madeleine turned away from the stalking Pristine.

"Maybe someone with proper authority will turn this second-rate convent into a first-class restaurant," Pristine was now talking to the back of Madeleine, "making a profit for once." She raised her voice as she went on, making sure her words would not escape the retreating nun, "Also, to start keeping this dust-hole clean—"

Madeleine kept walking. The comment hit her back and she clenched her jaws. This was serious. Sœur Pristine put up a real threat to her authority and, though the bills were not overwhelming, she would persist in her hunt for power. What would come next? Some inspection of the monastery? A large number of shortcomings befell the convent - all great for the sisters, but not so great in the eyes of any correct minister. Madeleine could not risk it.

"Well, we'll sell the silver cutlery," Madeleine replied, still with her back turned to Pristine. "That ought to do it." She meant to do nothing of the sort. She would prefer the method of shutting her eyes on the problem, wishing for the bills to go away, in and of themselves.

"Really?" Pristine halted - she hadn't seen that one coming.

Madeleine hurried away along the corridor, not planning to wait and hear what resistance Pristine would offer next. And so the discussion was over, for now.