Birgitta the Nun

Part 61 - The Cheque

Madeleine made her way through the monastery. She went through some corridors, climbed several stairs, traversed a few rooms, to finally reach the door of the Holy Office. The abbess was back, and Madeleine no longer would make use of the office as her own. She had been summoned, but still she hesitated before lifting her hand. The door stood ajar, and gave way under her knocking knuckles.

"Hello—?" she said to the retreating door.

"Yes—yes, come in," the abbess replied from inside her office. "Have a seat, will you—unfortunately not in my chair. Maybe you got used to it—"

"You arrived just in time," Madeleine offered.

"Well, of course I did - you sent me a note."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. You signed it and all—"

The abbess stared at Madeleine. Madeleine stared back.

"What note?" she asked. "I didn't know where you were—so how could I possibly have sent you a note?"

The abbess took out the letter and showed it to Madeleine.

"I didn't send this," Madeleine objected.

"Well, you should have."

"But it's a fraud—and what's this, 'stand-in abbess, though not cut out for it' ? That's an outright insult. Who wrote this?"

"But, wouldn't you agree?" the abbess raised an eyebrow.

"Of course I agree. I'm no authority, but that's not the point—I don't agree with this kind of talk behind my back."

"Bah—what do you care? You're a nun for Heaven's sake!"

Madeleine fell silent. She agreed - indeed, she did - and she tried to curb her inappropriate feelings. She calmed down, and almost managed to find the situation suitable. Then, she asked, "But who sent it then?"

"That kitchen-rat of ours—obviously," the abbess replied. "Huh—can you believe it? Would you do that—rat on your own mother?"

"But this was no ordinary mother," Madeleine reflected.

"I know, I know—it was a rhetorical question."

"Was it—?"

"Don't be wise with me," the abbess snapped. "You know what I mean."

Madeleine did as she had been told and kept her wise objections to herself. She put her hands in her lap and waited with patience for the abbess to get to the point of the summons.

"Anyway," the abbess continued, "you have not made a mess of the office while I was away, and I thank you for that. My papers are all in order and I need not wrack my brain to get sorted out."

Madeleine looked at the chaotic room, with its heaps of papers and towers of dog-eared books—if this was order, she didn't want to know what the abbess considered disorder.

"Except of course," the abbess continued, "one little piece of paper is missing."

Madeleine pulled out the homegrown map from under her robe. Without looking at it, she handed it back to its rightful owner.

"Ah, there you are—isn't it kind of neat, really?" The abbess studied the map and gave a sigh of contentment, "I was never any good at drawing, but this turned out a little piece of art, don't you think? She should see me now, my old art teacher—" The abbess shook her fist at the ceiling, turning the map upwards, towards the heavens. "Haha, no—really, she did her best to school me—"

Madeleine also handed the abbess the old worn-out cheque - but without the burnt envelope - and waited for an explanation. Now, this was something substantial.

The abbess received the old piece of paper with a frown. She didn't look pleased at all to see it. "I see," she said. "There you are old friend. I thought I had got rid of you—" She checked herself, then turned to Madeleine, "The thing is, we can't go around being saved by money. This is a monastery, not an enterprise. If I were to use this cheque—then Pristine would be right. Then we would suddenly be in the grip of profit and bills, and soon all faith would be gone."

The color of Madeleine's face dropped. She stared at the abbess in disbelief.

"Damn it—I fought for that cheque."

"But you should have realized by now—" the abbess continued. "I hid the cheque myself, long ago—and I actually wanted some outsider to come and find it, to take it away. But wizards are obviously not that clever, and certainly can't read maps, so that plan of mine failed. But perhaps I'll plant a new map some day—and hope for a bright wanderer to find it."

"But how will we manage the bills?" Madeleine persisted. Though, she already knew the abbess was right.

"We'll sell the silver-cutlery. They don't belong in a monastery anyway."

"And Birgitta?"

"Birgitta did what she had to do. That cat is an important individual, an important soul. Also, I'll invest in a tent, just in case something similar occurs. We'll practice putting it up in the garden, together. Who knows who's next in line for a road-trip?"

The abbess put the cheque into a drawer, on top of some stones and crayons, and shut it tight. She had had her sermon, explained the situation, and now gave her apprentice the opportunity to vent any eventual concerns. She looked at Madeleine with calm, and let her take her time.

"Actually," Madeleine said at length, "I didn't enjoy authority and responsibility—I don't think it suits me."

"Of course not," the abbess replied. "It suits no one—just look at what it does to me, eh? But we have to have a few tiny rules, bad or good—just to have something to operate around. The rules in themselves are not important, just that we all accept them and do the same. I make sure the rules are followed, or I try anyway—look at your colleague, Birgitta, she's a hard nut to crack. But she's civilized enough, and that's an authority's chief goal - to create civilization. Unless you're in the army of course, then mayhem is the goal, the initial operation anyway—" the abbess lost the thread. Her eyes started to wander as she tried to formulate in her head what she meant to say. But she soon gave up. She turned to Madeleine and continued, "Nevertheless, you make a great nun."

"I don't want to be a great nun," Madeleine replied, rather bold. "Can't I just be a regular one? A simple, minor nun—that's the right thing for me."

"Well-well, look at this now," The abbess studied Madeleine, impressed by her new determination. She banged the flat of her hand against the desktop and declared, "Alright, let's make it a deal - I won't bother you with any more authority, and you won't go tearing down any more hallways? (I actually let Pristine take the blame. Can you believe it? Well, of course you can, she might've as well—) Good. Now, go and do some praying, or whatever it is you normal nuns do. Though, you are almost invisible, like ghosts, you make the backbone of the monastery. I'm proud of you."