Inside My Mind (Harry Styles)

Chapter 1

~ Harry

Peaceful. A state that I hadn't been quite used to enjoy in the past few years. It felt nice.

What I was doing back in Holmes Chapel, I did not have a slightest clue of. However, over-thinking it wasn't something I dared to do, in fear that everything could just vanish in an instant. Rather just enjoy the chance I've oddly received to be home. Besides, getting a charge out of being in familiar and pleasant surroundings was something I couldn't appreciate more at that moment. But as much as I wanted to ignore it, deep down I continued repeatedly questioning myself why I was back. It bothered me, the heaviness in my chest I was having the whole time. Like a crazy gut feeling which was on a strange way not letting me fully experience the refreshing and calming tranquility.

I sighed when I let my fingers hastily brush over the wood of the bench I was sitting on. That was when I noticed the two little stick figures neatly carved in, the memories that the drawing caused to rush in my mind bringing up an instinctive smile on my face. Every part of this place held a big part of my life and childhood. None of those parts though, was retained in my mind as it was now. Eerie and uneasy. Empty even.

Looking around me, I wondered where everyone had gone. Usually children could be heard while playing games, people chattering away with each other. Not like this, pure silence. I stood up slowly, tensing at the sight of ghostly and strangely quiet surroundings. There was something happening, something I was unaware of - and I was missing it out.

Sudden clicking of shoes and rushed footsteps behind me threw me off and I turned around, only to see someone walking quickly past me. I spun around confused, furrowing my eyebrows at the manner which I was brushed off with. My first thought was to let it go, but my eyes caught the well-known sight of a bracelet on the girl's wrist. Pleasantly surprised, I breathed out in disbelief.

"Aren't you going to say hi to me?" I asked, satisfied when the sound of my voice made her look briefly over her shoulder. I grinned happily, shoving my hands in my pockets before I approached her.

Everything around me slowed its movement down when my eyes I took in the feeling of seeing her again. Having her so close to me in fact - looking so real, caused my whole body to tremble uncontrollably from both excitement and nervousness. All this time there has been nothing that I could've possibly wished more than just to touch her and feel her again. And she was right there in front of me, making all my senses tingle just by laying my eyes on her. I ached to convince myself that my own mind wasn't projecting out what I was wishing to see and instinctively, my fingers twitched before I lifted my hand hesitantly. Heartbeat racing like crazy, drumming loudly in my ears as shaky breaths fell from my parted lips.

She had always succeeded in making my heart drop in the pit of my stomach by just glancing at me, this time not being an exception. And she did make my heart flutter again, but unlike in any other occasion before, it was because of fear. Fear because I saw the expression of hurt and despair on her face. Eyes glassy with her tears threatening to spill out any second. She flinched before I could even reach her. "No," she whispered, taking a step back from me. Her fingers hastily curled around the hem of her jacket, pulling it tighter around her body.

My breath hitched in my throat, the dull heaviness from earlier now kicking in harder. I could've sworn some kind of a game being played with me as I had quick and short flashbacks of the same situation. My eyes widened as the realization of what was happening shook me up completely, paralyzing me on the spot. Everything was clicking back to its place, like a sick and twisted puzzle. I was being pulled back in the past, dragged against my own will or approve. I was on that place. And there was no room to search for any warmth or tranquility - in fact, there was anything but.