Kairos: A Great KaiSoo Love Story

~One~

KAI'S POV

It was during summer vacation. The incident that almost killed me- No, let me rephrase it. The incident that killed me inside.

My world fell apart. I died inside when that happened. I know I can still save her, but I didn't- I couldn't. I was a jerk. A fucking shit jerk!

Eventhough they're not accusing me or something, I know that it's really my fault. That's the truth. It's somehow my fault on why she's gone. She died because of me. She will never come back to me- Not anymore.

What kind of a boyfriend I am?

A useless fucking jerk boyfriend!

-----

It is the second semester of my third year here at Emmanuel Xavier Olso University- Also known as EXO U. I don't know how did I survive during those times but I miss her. I miss Anya.

Everyone knows what happened- Different stories, different versions. Different reactions, comments and opinions. Some people are mad, happy and have sympathy and some people just don't care about the issue. I'm really not bothered by what others think. But I was hoping that someone will stab me or something. I want to die. But I couldn't do it myself. Im too scared- A coward.

"Hey dude!" I was pulled out of my thoughts when Sehun called me. I just looked at him and just continue to walk.

"Hey! Don't you dare turn your back at me! I'm talking to you!" And he catched up to me.

"What is your problem Jongin?" He asked. Do I really need to answer that stupid question?!

"Is this what you really wanted to be? Huh? Dude you're like a zombie! You're not the only one who's hurt! We all do! But why are you not fighting? HUH?! Why don't you try to move on? She's dead! Anya's already DEAD! "

My fist landed on his cheek, same thing with his ass on the cold floor. Damn him!

I turned around and started walking again when I heard him say...

"We're here Jongin...will always be. You don't have to bottled it up. Don't run from all of this- Don't run away from us." I just walk...walk away from him. I don't need someone or somebody. I just need Anya. I just want Anya to come back.

While I'm walking, I bumped into someone.

"YAH! Look where you're going!" I shouted. TCH! Badtrip.

"Sorry." He apologized and bowed down. Then he starts to pick up the pieces of paper scattered on the floor.

I came to my senses. Shit! It's my fault! I'm the one who's not looking. I quickly helped this person.

"Sorry." That's all I said as we both stood up.

He looked at me and smiled. "Well, thank you and see you around. Bye!" And quickly took off.

Am I just delussional or what? Did I just saw Anya? But it's impossible! He's a boy! But heck! He really looks like Anya...or am I just seeing things? Aish! What is happening to me?!

-----

CAFETERIA

I sat on our usual spot near the window.

"Sorry for what I've done." I told Sehun. It's really wrong to punch your bestfriend just because he's telling the truth.

"I'm sorry too. I'm not in the position to tell you those kinds of things. I know you're the most affected in all of us." He replied.

We're silently eating when Chen speaks up...

"I heard there's a new bar just outside the town, let's go check it out!"

All of them agreed to go except me. They're all looking at me, waiting for my answer.

"I-i think I'll pass. I've got some homework to.."

Sehun cut me off. "Really Jongin? Oh please! I know you're just going to stay up all night thinking about the past in your room! Dude! We're your friends right? You need to catch up!"

"Yeah! We missed you bro." Tao added.

"So gay Tao!" Lay playfully punched Tao's shoulder. Then we all laughed.

"You know? Insted of being a loser zombie, why not come with us at the bar and have fun? You need to relax dude!" Kris told me. He's very convincing you know?

I pursed my lips, unsure of what to say...Oh dammit!

"You know what? Fuck homework and let's do this shit!" Then they all cheered and we high-five each other.

Can I really have fun? Do I deserve to relax and be happy?