Fuck You ( August Alsina )

Chapter Twenty-Five

25. Conflicted

Levi

I barely got any sleep last night. With what Mason and August said, I wasn't able to understand what the fuck was going on. I turned over in my bed looking at the time. I got out of bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. Afterwards, I got dressed in ripped jeans, a oversized white tshirt, a jean jacket, and converse sneakers. I grabbed my phone and keys heading out the door. I didn't know where I was going, but I just really needed someone to talk too.

***

I approached the tombstone contemplating or whether or not this was a good idea. I hadn't been here since the anniversary of her death. I crouched down to look closely at the tombstone which read:

Sheryl Marie Anderson
1972 - 2017
Loving Sister, Aunt, & Friend
You will be deeply missed

I just stared at her tombstone thinking of what I could say. There was nothing to say because I couldn't find the right words. Aunt Sheryl always knew what to say and now that I needed her more than ever, she wasn't here to help me.

"It's been a while since I've been here." I said.

The wind blew.

"I mean here I am talking to you and you can't say anything back." Tears began to form in my eyes. "It's been so hard having to live in New York without you. Auntie, I don't know what to do. I have these two guys who want to be with me and one of them I've fallen for and the other is leaving. Please help me. Which one do I choose?"

The wind picked as I wiped my tears. I looked at the time on my phone and got up. I looked down at the tombstone one more time.

"I love you and I miss you." I said before walking away.

August

"Yea ma, it'll be good to see you too." I said. "I know we have a lot to catch up on."

"Are you bringing that girl you've been telling me about?" Ma asked.

"Uh no. We broke up." I admitted.

"Oh sweetie, what happened?" Ma asked.

"I did something that really messed everything up. I don't think I'll ever get her back." I complained.

"Well honey, do you love her?" Ma asked.

I nodded my head. "Of course I do. But after what I did, she'll never want me in that way again."

"August, if you really loved her then you would be showing her and telling her. If you really loved her, then you wouldn't be running away." Ma said.

Before I had a chance to say anything, there was a knock on the door. I got up to open the door and to my surprise it was Levi. I zoned out not realizing that Ma was on the phone trying to get my attention.

"Uh mom, I'm gonna call you back." I said hanging up.

"Hi." Levi said.

"Hi." I said. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know to be honest." Levi said. "I just wounded up here."