Unsteady

Flashbacks

[KakaoTalk]

—Monday, November 30, 2015—

PINKSEOKJIN🎀: Rapmon! Can you go get me food at that one Japanese restaurant down the street? I keep on forgetting the name. Please get me those deep fried Sushi. Thx Joonie ♥
-3:47PM

ME: You know I'm just in the basement, right? Get your lazy ass out of bed and come talk to me in person. Fine. I'm going.
-3:49PM

PINKSEOKJIN🎀: Thanks bb♥ ur the best
-3:49PM

ME: I know
-3:49PM

ME: You better come back home right now. I don't want you to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I'm scared. We're gonna live through it. We need to stick together alright?♥
-7:13PM

ME: Jinnie where are you?
-7:32PM

ME: Babe?
-8:09PM

ME: JIN COME BACK HERE PLEASE! HURRY UP AND CALL 911
-11:34PM

ME: IT'S SUGA HE'S LAYING ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR WITH THESE PILLS IN HIS HANDS HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE BREATHING SEOKJIN I BEG YOU PLEASE COME!
-11:34PM

PINKSEOKJIN🎀: What? I'm on my way.
-11:36PM

ME: WE COULD OF AVOIDED THIS IF YOU CAME WHEN I TOLD YOU TO!!! IT'S ONLY NOW THAT YOU BOTHER TO RESPOND? FUCK YOU! YOONGI IS DEAD! AND IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT YOU SELFISH BRAT
-11:36PM
———————————————

Tears are dripping down my face as I read the last texts we sent each other. All the dark memories surface again. I still have the image of Yoongis body on the cold bathroom floor. His soulless body was laying there, right in front of my eyes. Then I saw an empty pill bottle in his left hand, along with a few pills laying on the ground beside him. Seokjin never came that night. I was left alone, all alone. It was probably my fault anyways..

-Flashback-

-I can't wait to see them again! Says Seokjin, sitting on the couch beside me all excited. He stuffs his mouth with the Sushi I just brought back. He is so cute when he eats.
-Be careful. Take smaller bites, you could hurt yourself, I tell him.
-Oh Namjoon, you out of everyone should know that I have a big mouth, he says with a playful smile.
Yoongi, who I thought was sleeping starts laughing.
-Aigoo stop! I tell Seokjin while chuckling.
-I know you love me, he says to me.
I smile and lay a kiss on his beautiful lips.
-Stop you loving birds, or next time my girl is over we wont hold back, says Yoongi.
-You got yourself a girl this time? I thought you'd end up with a guy after what happened in your past relationship, says Seokjin.
Yoongi raises his eyebrows and takes another sip of his beer. I look at Seokjins plate and steal a bite of his Sushi.
-Hey that's mine! He says.
I smile.
-If you wanted some, I would of fed it to you, otherwise it's no fun, he says as he pouts.
-You're cute, I tell him.
He smiles and says
-I know,
I ruffle his hair.
-If you guys are gonna act like that then just get a room and fuck, says Yoongi nonchalantly.
Seokjin and I both look at him with wide open eyes.
-We would, Yoongi, but we ran out of condoms, jokingly says Seokjin. I hit the back of his head. Him and Yoongi are laughing.
-As much as I hate to admit it, you guys are truly the best, I tell them.
We suddenly hear a knock on the door.
-Jungkook! Jimin! Hoseok! That must be them! Shouts Seokjin as he sprints to the door.
Jin unlocks and opens the door. The person he sees leaves him shook. Yoongi and I quickly hide our beers and sit straight.
The two police officers step in.
-We have bad news, concerning Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook, starts one of the police men.
-W-what? Stutters Jin.
-They have passed away after being in a car accident, we are sorry, says the other police officer.
Jin isn't sure if this is a joke or not.
The officers gives us a little more information about what happened. The officers then leave and Seokjin runs into my arms. He is crying. Yoongi seems in shock, but we all know how Yoongis emotions work. The day he gets the news he will be shocked, and the next day he will be flooded in anger. Mostly anger. He doesn't get sad often.
Then I saw it.
This small tear go down his cheek. It's the first time I ever see him cry.
He takes his beer back and chugs the rest, which is about a third of the bottle.
Seokjin and I are crying into eachothers arms. He lays on the sofa and puts his head on my lap. I run my hand through his soft, golden brown hair.
-It's all gonna be ok, we're gonna be alright, I say to them.
Yoongi takes another beer and glides upstairs. Seokjin gets up, gets his car keys and puts his coat and shoes on.
-W-what are you doing? I ask him.
He turns his head towards me.
He is bawling. He finishes tying his shoes and gets out of the door after giving me a finger heart. I lay on the sofa and curl up in a ball. I let all the tears freely escape my eyes. I cry for hours until I decide to send him a text message. I wait for an inexistant answer. I hear screams coming from upstairs. That's Yoongi. As the house gets quiet again, I decide to go upstairs and get Yoongi. I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid.
He isn't in his room. I go check the bathroom. As I slowly push the door open with my fingers, I get a bad feeling.
I see Yoongi laying on the floor. Maybe has just passed out, or fainted.
But then I see
An open and empty pill bottle in his left hand, along with a few pills, laying beside him. I immediately text Seokjin, hoping that he'd come back. I get on my knees and shake him.
-Suga! Yoongi! Wake up! Please, I beg you! I say as tears go down my face.
He isn't going to wake up.
I know that,
But I can't accept it.
I feel my phone vibrate. It's a text from Seokjin. I text him back. My emotions take control of my fingers and I type things I automatically regret after clicking the send button. I throw my phone across the room and cry.
I scream and cry my heart out.

-End of flashback-

-Namjoon, Namjoon! Shouts Taehyung.
I look at him, confused.
-Don't cry, okay? We arrived, he then says.
I nod and wipe the tears away from my face.
I get out of the car. I keep my phone in my hands. Taehyung comes beside me and swings his arm around my shoulder. He looks at my phone screen.
-Ohh.. he says.
I scroll up and see more texts.

——Sunday, November 29, 2015—

PINKSEOKJIN🎀: Rapmonie.. I miss you.. come in my room?
-11:59PM

ME: We literally saw each other 5 minutes ago in the kitchen..
-11:59PM

PINKSEOKJIN🎀: I know.. but I want to cuddle ^^
-12:00AM

ME: Alright.. I'm on my way <3
-12:00AM
PINKSEOKJIN🎀: <3
-12:00AM

———————————————

-Flashback-

I smile and put my phone in my back pocket. I get up from my chair and walk across the living room. I see Suga sleeping on the couch. I chuckle and get up the stairs. I open Seokjins door and see him, in his pajama waiting for me in bed. He opens his arms and smiles. I smile back and get into the bed covers with him. I wrap my arms around him and we fall asleep.

-End Of Flashback-

Jungkook unlocks the door and invites us in. Taehyung and I step in and go sit at the dinner table.
-If you guys want anything to eat, don't be afraid to ask, says Jungkook.
Taehyung nods and pulls Jungkooks hand, telling him to sit beside us.
I put my head on the table. Jungkook and Taehyung rubs my back, trying to console me. 
-What's BTS? Taehyung suddenly ask.
I sigh and clear my throat.
-BTS was the name we gave ourselves.. the name of our friend group.. Bangtan sonyeondan.
He nods and runs his hand through the back of my hair.