Brotherly Hatred | ✔️ | Blue Exorcist

Twins

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The gun dropped from my hand, it bounced off of the mattress and clanked against the floor, the harsh sound only adding tension to the air. I stared at Yukio, noticing how I hadn't seen him in short sleeves in months. Seeing his exorcist coat, I suddenly had the urge to disrobe him, I needed to see what he had done to himself. He stopped glaring at me and shifted his eyes around the room, when his gaze landed on the doorway to the bathroom, the lights still on inside, his expression turned worried. He walked over to the door, standing stock still as he realized the situation he was in.

I slid off the bed, trying to avoid stepping on the revolver. I took a step forward, swallowing hard, "Yukio..." He tensed and I saw his jaw clench, his breathing starting to quicken. I took another step forward, "I.. I'm so sorry, I didn't realize..." My voice shook and I had no idea how I was going to go about this. Who would, though, to be honest?

He turned on his heels, "Get out!" He screamed, his expression twisting in distress. I hesitated for a moment, but then took another tentative step toward him.

"Please, Yukio..." What are you supposed to say in these types of situations? I for one, had no experience in this department.

His eyes flashed in anger, but I saw the pain inside. "I said get out!!" He lurched forward and shoved me, but I threw his arms to the side and pulled him into a hug. He immediately stiffened and struggled against me, I let go of him and his hand shot out, smacking me in the face. I took a step back, rubbing my cheek. He was trembling now and he seemed extremely anxious. "Just go away, Rin."

I shook my head, "No, you're my brother, I'm here to help. Tell me what's wrong." I stared at him with pleading eyes and he scoffed, shoving passed me and holding the door open. I shook my head again, walking into the bathroom and grabbing one of the bloodied towels before returning. I held it out, "this isn't healthy, Yukio. You could hurt yourself permanently if you mess up..." My voice trailed to a whisper and I swallowed my emotions.

He shut the door, as if to give us privacy, but we were the only ones in the building. "You don't have the right to care about me. Tch, and I thought we weren't brothers anymore." He spat at me, his eyes growing cold. "You weren't there for me before, but now that you know, you feel guilty. Fuck you! Why didn't you care before? Huh?!"

"Because I'm an asshole, Yukio, I'll fucking admit it." I sighed, pulling at my hair. "I'm so sorry I ignored you for so long, I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn't realize that you were hurting this bad." I sat down on the bed, rubbing my face. "It's even worse because I knew that you were hurting, of course, not as bad as you obviously are, but I knew and I didn't do anything about it. I'm a horrible person, and I don't have the right to call you my brother anymore." My voice lowered to a murmur, "even though we've been fighting, you've still been trying to protect me."

Protecting me from Satoshi and the group, protecting me from Bon's assault, helping me when I was in pain, he was there for me when I wasn't for him. There were even the subtle hints that he wanted to help me at points, the looks that I never knew how to judge, he had been pondering helping me. My stomach twisted and I felt disgusted with myself.

"You're my brother, I'm supposed to protect you, I even promised dad that I would." I heard him hum and I looked up at him, he seemed to have calmed down a bit. "That's why I became an exorcist." My heart thudded against my chest, he fought demons because he wanted to protect me? In some hilariously twisted way, it was a sweet gesture. Goddammit, I feel horrible about this situation.

I took a shaky breath, a sad smile on my face. "My reason isn't as heroic..." My face fell completely, memories playing in my mind. "Dad died because Satan took over his body, and I'd caused him the emotional pain that dropped his guard, you were right." I whispered and I felt him sit down on the other end of the mattress. "I wasn't strong enough to protect Dad from a demon, so I decided that I wanted to become stronger, so that no one else would get hurt. But look what I've done instead, I've only caused more chaos." I sighed, "I blamed you this entire time, believing that; if you would've told me about my demonic side earlier, I could have been more prepared to save Dad. That and the fact that you hadn't been there when it all happened, I forced the blame onto you. It's not your fault, though, it's mine."