Brotherly Hatred | ✔️ | Blue Exorcist

Dad

I ran and ran, my ankles and knees crying at the joints as my feet slammed repeatedly into the concrete of the sidewalk. As I passed through town, some people looked concerned and some even tried to stop me, but I would shake them off. I didn't need any of them, I only needed one person, but he was dead. My shoulder was searing with pain and I considered changing my destination to the hospital. However, my heart won over my head, and my heart needed my father, in any form I could get him.

The sun was lowering, casting shadows over everything I passed. The blurred colors of brown and orange flashed by me, the frigid autumn air piercing against my skin and causing my eyes to water. Thoughts of death surrounded me, the lifeless leaves falling from the evergreens, the raven lying helplessly on the sidewalk as I passed by, they were all dying, and I couldn't help them. I choked for air, pushing my legs harder than I had at track practice, I didn't have time to waltz around. I needed to get home and... and...

I saw the monestary come into view and I slowed to a stop, a sudden wave of emotion slamming into me. He wouldn't be here, why did you come here... he's gone. I blinked away tears, realizing my trip had been for nothing. Gasping for air, I leaned against the fence, grasping at the rusting metal. I tried to take my mind off my aching chest, the fence really should be replaced soon, some kids easily broke into the cemetery and destroyed some headstones not too long ago.

Cemetery...

I took off into another sprint, traveling along the edge of the property and the gloom of a graveyard appeared through the slots of the iron barrier. I made a beeline through the gates and ran along a path, gray rocks blurring together as I searched out the end of my route. I slowed to a stop, a large stone lay before me, newly compacted dirt marking a newly dug grave. Dad... Standing before the inanimate object, I breathed heavily, feeling my emotions continue to claw at me until I finally broke down. I collapsed next to the headstone, tears falling from my face as my fingers traced across the etched letters of his name.

"Dad..." I broke out into sobs and buried my face into my hands, my entire body shaking as I cried. My sorrow ripped throughout chest and throat, I gasped and hiccuped, gripping a hand to my heart. "Dad... why did things get so messed up?" I wiped my agonized tears to no avail, my lip trembling, "this isn't how things should be. You're supposed to be here with me and Yukio! You need to be alive!" I reached my hand out to feel the cold stone, but the smooth surface only unsettled me more. I would do anything to feel him pull me into a hug, I'd give my life to have him here, I'd give anything...

I looked up to the sky and felt my breathing grow erratic, I was gonna lose it, I could feel it. I clamped a hand over my mouth just as a pitiful sound escaped. It did nothing to muffle the piercing noise, however, and birds flew from the barren trees overhead in fright. I threw myself to the ground, pounding my fists onto the earth above his grave. "Dad... you're gone... and now I don't even have a brother. I have no one...It's as if I was born to end up alone." I sobbed harder, bringing my dirtied hands to my head and pulling at my hair. "This is so wrong!"

I lay there sobbing, my head touching the ground six feet above my father. I needed him terribly at this moment, but I could never turn to him again.

"Don't ever let me see you trying to act like my father again!"

I shot up, gripping the headstone harshly, my tears rapidly falling onto the dirt below me. "I take it all back! I'm so sorry I ever said such things to you! If I hadn't, you would've been strong enough to fight off Satan! But you're dead! You're fucking dead!" I laid my head against the smooth stone, letting my sorrow flow through my entire being. My head hurt, my eyes burned, I couldn't breathe, my shoulder was bleeding, and I was all alone. I curled up against the stone, silent tears continuing to flow as I reminisced on past memories. They were the only memories I would ever have of my father, now.