Brotherly Hatred | ✔️ | Blue Exorcist

Tests

This could technically be considered a filler chapter.

She had me stand against a wall as she took my height, I was still as short as before, maybe I'll get a growth spurt sometime soon. I tried not to let that disappointment get to me as I stepped on the scale, but I found myself even more displeased when she read out my weight. "Fifty-six kilograms, that's a little low, but it's nothing serious. Just make sure to eat right, okay?" However, it kind of was a big deal, I lost fifteen pounds in the last several months, I should've gained weight with how much exercise I did. I sighed and she gestured me to sit down. She pulled out a pile of papers, the ones on top had my information on them, which kind of weirded me out. However, she focused on a small packet with questions and boxes on the pages.

"Okay Rin, I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to tell me if you have or haven't experienced them. If you have, I'd like you to say how often. You're free to tell me that you aren't sure how to answer or if you are to uncomfortable. Alright?" I nodded my head and she started questioning me.

"Have you felt unhappy with yourself or with your life?" I nodded. "Have you been unable to focus or have lost concentration easily?" I nodded. "Have you lost enjoyment in activities you would normally find interesting?" I was still for a moment, I didn't really do any activities to start with, and for the past week I've been on house arrest.

"I don't know, I don't really do much to begin with." She nodded and marked another box. I was getting bored of staring at her desk, so I let my eyes wander around her room. She asked if I had ever felt overly tired or had no energy, which I cockily replied; "only on Monday's"

"Rin, could you please take this seriously? We can't help you if you don't help us understand." I sighed and nodded, it was just a joke, she didn't have to take it so hard. "Have you had changes in your sleep or appetite?"

I hummed, "I guess, how much I sleep every night varies. And I didn't think my appetite changed, but I lost too much weight for there not to be a problem with it." She looked grateful to have a thorough explanation from me and she checked a few more boxes.

She licked her lips and pushed a stray hair from her face, "have you felt anxious, tense, or that you couldn't calm down?"

I scoffed, "nearly all the damn time." She asked for an example and I shrugged. "A lot has happened lately and I'm constantly waiting for something else to happen."

She hummed, "so you would also consider yourself paranoid?" Well, it's not like I thought the government was after me, but I guess that was another way to put my emotions into words, so I nodded. "Would you feel fearful or worried at these times?" I shook my head, like I said, I'm not waiting for the apocalypse or anything. She hummed again, "have you had a panic attack before?"

"I believe so, I don't know how much or how little can be attributed to anxiety, but I once felt like I was going to go insane it was so bad." She raised her eyebrow and I didn't need her words to know she wanted an explanation. "I got so stressed out that I couldn't breathe and I nearly passed out a few times. It was like I was losing control of myself and I couldn't do anything about it. I was sweating and hot, but cold at the same time. It was like I was being pulled in different directions by my mind and body. I pretty much just sat on my bathroom floor and waited for it to pass."

She seemed satisfied and checked off multiple boxes, flipping the page and marking a few more. "Do you have nightmares or flashbacks?" I nodded, I've never experienced a flashback, but I knew the hell of nightmares. "Are you nervous in social situations?" Nope. "Are you easily started?" No, I'm not a wuss. She hummed, "do you feel numb or detached from the world?"