sakimashita

yellow chrysanthemum

"If I told you that I loved you
Tell me, what would you say?

I hope I don't murder me
I hope I don't burden you
If I do.."

the Beach - The Neighbourhood 

  ( yellow chrysanthemum - slighted love ) 

 Taehyung was supposed to have been resting. His band mates knew he was in Daegu just the way Hoseok was in Gwangju. But, Hoseok was actually in Gwangju while Taehyung had been in a hospital recouping. Dr. Kim Hakyeon had told him to take a few days rest before getting himself discharged since usually a patient suffering from Hanahaki took anywhere between a day or, two after the surgery to recuperate. There was no side-effect. In Taehyung's case, eighty percent of his lungs had been covered in little thorns. His hanahaki had a long time to grow in him, growing, spreading and reaching where ever it could. He was glad at least, it was daffodils and not rose. Rose would have led to larger thorns and he wouldn't have been able to last even a few days without dire consequences. When the nurse attending him found him awake, he asked for Namjoon not knowing if the leader had been around. Namjoon came a short while later when the nurse informed the taller boy Taehyung was looking for him. His surgery had taken seven hours and he had regained consciousness eight more hours later. Namjoon who had been sitting outside the Operation Theatre the entire time later informed him.

"Tae.." Namjoon's eyes were red and puffy and cheeks, blotched with tears.

"Hyung."

He smiled and there was this lightness in his chest. His smile grew wider. Namjoon was looking at him with wide eyes. He rubbed his chest in the gesture that he had gotten used to. He prodded at his chest with his fingers and grinned ear to ear. He threw the flimsy standard hospital blanket away and stumbled off the bed. Namjoon rushed to him and hugged him.

"Taehyung." He looked at him with hopeful eyes. "Are you.. Do you.. Are you okay?"

"No, hyung! Am great!!!"

Namjoon started laughing and Taehyung joined him. Namjoon hugged him again. "I thought I lost you, buddy." Taehyung snuggled into his chest. He was happy seeing his leader. Namjoon oddly invoked a sense of security and protection despite being only a year older to the other boy. "I was so scared. Had something happened to you, I could have never forgiven myself." Taehyung scowled and pulled himself back.

"Hyung, it's nobody's fault. If it is at all, then, it's mine." It was Namjoon's turn to scowl at him. "But, hyung", he frowned, "shouldn't I be sad? Why do I feel happy?" He sat on the edge of the bed. "I lost something. It didn't go away naturally. It was taken away. With my consent but.."

Namjoon cut off the younger boy. "Taehyung, it is good news." His gaze was sad and filled with pity. Taehyung didn't want to see it. He didn't want pity. He quickly changed the topic. Together, they built a story believable enough: Taehyung was sick. Namjoon was with him at the hospital till one of the red-haired boy's cousins came to pick him up and take him back home and thus, dropping out of the Europe Tour.

After the taller boy left, Taehyung lied down, pulling the blanket up covering his face. Dr. Kim had dropped in twice to check up on his progress. Taehyung had to come for visits in every six days because even though they had removed the majority of it and the singer's life was no longer under any threat, there was still some of the infected cells. A few more sittings and he will be completely free. He had thanked the leader for bringing the boy just in time otherwise, no doctor could have done anything to save him. He chided Taehyung for negligence; for waiting till the appointed date. He should have come as soon as he had seen the vast amount of petals he had coughed out. He had ruffled his patient's hair, to Taehyung's surprise. An action very unlike the professional man.