Redemption

17

As it turned out, I wasn't very good at choosing clothes for myself. Every time I stepped out of the changing room, Ginny would grimace or give me a thumbs down. I thought the dresses were sweet and innocent looking. They were fine.

"You need something sexier." She'd say, throwing me a handful of other dresses. Dresses that were definitely NOT school friendly and teacher approved.

I rolled my eyes. "Gin, this is a staff Christmas party. I need to wear something respectable. Not something that is going to have every man jumping at me."

She giggled. "Why not? You're single. What harm can a little mingling do?"

I bit the inside of my cheek, hands on my hips. I fought with myself not to remind her that I had been engaged to her brother only a few months prior. I knew it wouldn't do well to bring up such stinging memories. She mistook my inner battle for hesitation and jumped on it. "Ooh, 'Mione! Are you seeing someone? Got your eye on them?"

I sneered, a nasty habit I'd picked up from my mentor. "Don't be ridiculous."

Her eyes widened, her hand lifted to her lips. "No way!" She whispered.

I waved off her comment and turned back to the racks of gowns and cocktail dresses. I already had a dress. What was I doing here? My train of thought was derailed when Ginny ran up to me and grabbed my hands. "It's him, isn't it?" She asked, eyes sparkling playfully. "You fancy Snape!"

I shot her a look and shushed her. "That's Professor Snape to you." I reminded. This only made her smile grow.

She hopped up and down, squeezing my hands. "I knew it! Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

I shrugged, stepping away. "Doesn't matter, does it?"

She sensed that I was trying to distance myself and followed me around the rack. "Why wouldn't it? 'Mione, if you feel something for him don't you think that maybe you should say something?"

I looked up at her, eyes watering. She didn't know. How could she? I hadn't told her anything recently. I'd been so cold toward her. "He was married," I whispered. "His wife is the Head of the Education Board. She hates me."

Blue eyes went wide. "Merlin... You sure know how to pick them, don't you?"

I ignored her jibe and turned back to the changing room, slipping out of the red dress I'd been wearing. It wasn't my style anyway, though the colour was lovely.

My redheaded friend stood next to me at the jewellery counter, sensing she had upset me. "I was only saying that you should say something. You seem to really like him. Even if it is..." She drifted off. "I'm not all that surprised, to be perfectly honest. You deserve to be happy. Do this for yourself."

She saw the pain in my eyes. The pain I had been trying to mask. I couldn't do what she was asking of me. It would crush me beyond repair. I'd already gone through heartbreak to last a lifetime. I couldn't make myself so vulnerable. Not again so soon.

She pointed out a necklace beneath the glass counter. "That one is lovely."

I shook my head and she frowned. "I have a necklace already."

I showed it to her, pulling it out from beneath the neckline of my dress. She gaped at it, as though she couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Merlin's pants! Where on earth did you get something like that?" She questioned. "It's gorgeous!"