Redemption

18

The past few days of sitting in various rooms of my chambers and reading, as well as sending the students off for the holidays had me yearning for what I once had as a younger girl myself. I missed the trips to Hogsmeade with the boys, the bubble of excitement that came up whenever I'd leave to go skiing with my parents, crowding around the table at the Burrow or Grimmauld Place for a nice supper, catching up with friends.

I felt a pang in my heart. It would never be that way again. So many of those people were gone now. I thought back to my last Christmas. I had spent it with the Weasleys, surrounded by loved ones. It hadn't seemed right. Not at all.

There were people missing. Fred, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, Charlie even. We never saw Bill anymore. He'd taken up permanent residence in France with his wife and children. He couldn't bear the loss of his younger brother. Percy was an emotional mess, constantly going on about how foolish he'd been to miss so many Christmases.

My mind briefly wandered to Teddy, how he was faring with Andromeda. Harry was named his godfather, but he was not at all ready to raise a toddler. Not with his Auror training.

A small smile appeared on my lips at the thought of my best friend. He was the closest thing I'd ever had to a sibling. He was to attend the party later on in the evening. I wondered who else would be there and my smile faded, melancholy falling back upon me.

Ron would most likely attend with whatever new girlfriend he thought might make me jealous. The Malfoys, no doubt. They were a family friend of Professor Snape's, surely they'd bid him happy holidays. Ella...

The mere thought of the woman left a bad taste in my mouth. I couldn't believe how much I disliked her. Perhaps because she had threatened me, made me seem a fool before the one person I truly admired.

Maybe the one person I more than admired...

I had noticed that he'd stood up for me every time she had an argument. Only once had he fallen victim to her charms. At least, that I've noticed. Maybe he cared more for me than I had initially thought. Maybe Ella was right.

Nonsense. I was getting ahead of myself.

This was Snape.

I stepped out of the shower, slipping on my bathrobe. Another smile lit my face as I recalled the faithful day my instructor had woken up to see me half naked in my living room. I pressed a hand to my forehead, feeling my cheeks heat up. Had I imagined the darkening of his eyes? The fleeting emotion that had flashed through them?

I had to be. He was the master of indifference. There's no way he'd slip up. Not like that.

I sat at the vanity in my bedroom, lightly powdering my nose. I grabbed my wand, tapping it to my head, my hair falling in soft curls around my shoulders, cascading down my back. I pinned back my bangs with a few pins and a sticking charm. I examined my reflection, my hair had become somewhat more manageable over the years, my face had thinned, my teeth weren't bucktoothed as they once were.

I laughed. I couldn't believe I was fawning over the man who said he saw no difference after Malfoy had hit me with that beaver tooth jinx. The one who called me an insufferable know-it-all.

Life was so very strange.

I stood from the pouffe, opening my wardrobe. I glanced at the dress I intended to wear. Was it unprofessional? Was it too daring?

I rolled my eyes. For once, I was tired of playing by the rules. For the love of sugar-spun quills, I was a Gryffindor! It was about time I proved it to myself. I'd always wondered why I hadn't been sorted into Ravenclaw. Perhaps because I've always valued bravery. Always.