Stella Starlet

Euphoria

After Carter and I had slept together, I was unsure of what to expect Monday morning when I would see him in class. 

The thought weighed on my mind all of Saturday. 

When Sunday came around, Carter had invited me to dinner at his house. As I knocked on the front door, I was incredibly nervous. 

I was afraid that he would regret everything and tell me that he didn't want me anymore. The thought made my chest ache. 

When he opened the door, all my fears melted away when I saw the warmth in his eyes. I scolded myself internally for even thinking these self-sabotaging thoughts.

"Stella, hi, wow, you look amazing," he said awkwardly, grinning. 

I pulled him in for a tight hug. I breathed in the scent of his cologne and savored the feeling of warmth and security. 

"Whoa, you okay?" He asked as he kissed the top of my head.

I nodded in his chest, eventually letting him go. He let me in the house and I grinned.

The house was beautifully lit with candles scattered around and the soft light from the chandelier. The smell of dinner cooking from the kitchen, a mixture of apple pie and roasted chicken filled my nose. 

"Wow, this is beautiful," I announced to him, almost breath-taken. 

As he led me to the kitchen where a small four-seater table rested off to the side, I sat down and he poured me a glass of cranberry juice in a wineglass.

"Cranberry juice?" I asked, slightly puzzled.

He chuckled and sat across from me. "Well, considering how young you are, alcohol is bad for the developing brain. And I thought I would stop serving it to you, don't want to be a bad influence." He slightly blushed, he was nervous.

"That's a very fair point, Carter. I will accept you glass of cranberry juice." I laughed.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked. "Where's Kaitlin? She was beautiful, looked so warm and kind; complete opposite of me," I mused as I took a sip, my eyes never leaving the floor.

"We ended on good terms. She wasn't angry when I confessed that I had feelings for someone else, she understood."

On the inside, I felt complete euphoria bubbling. Enzo, Carter, and all the other guys I played mistress for had always stuck by their wives, even while being unfaithful. 

Carter was different. He had too much respect for everyone to do that.

While I was deep in thought, the sound of profuse swearing brought me back to reality. 

"Shit! Shit!" I heard Carter yelling as he frantically opened the oven. 

Smoke was pouring out of the oven and a chicken that was charred black was removed from it. I heard Carter swearing more under his breath as he plopped the scorched food on the counter.

I smiled and couldn't contain my laugh. 

He sniffled and looked at me. "Jesus. You like pizza?" 

I grinned. "I love pizza"

-

Dinner was heavenly. I ate a whole pizza by myself proudly. 

A classic movie played softly in the background as we talked and laughed.

"I really like this." I gestured to the food, the couch, and him sitting next to me. 

"I do too. But we do have to talk about some things."

I turned to look at me, expecting what he was going to say. 

"You're still incredibly young, and with that being said, there comes a lot of trouble with this relationship. I could lose my job and . . . Jesus, get arrested maybe? I don't know." He put his head in his hands.

I leaned towards him and took his hand in mine.

"Carter, you can back out of this, if you want. It's not too late." The thought put a hole in my chest, one that was rapidly filling with the hurt of impending rejection. 

"Honestly, I should. I should back out." He sighed and looked at me. "But, good God, I don't want to. I don't think I can."

"We'll make it work then?" I asked, apprehensively. 

He nodded. "We have to keep our distance in school, I can't show favoritism towards you no matter how much I want to slab an 'A' on all of your tests. We can't really go around town together because it's so small, everyone will know."

"We can go on dates out of town." I smiled at the thought, trying to reincorporate some optimism in this conversation. 

"Let's talk about this some other time, yeah? We're on a date." He grinned at me. 

"Tell me about yourself," I asked, smiling with curiosity. 

"Well, let's see. I was born in Portland, Oregon. My mother and father lived there at the time, even though our family's here. My family owns most of the stores and companies here in this town. My parents live about ten minutes from here, which is a little embarrassing."

"Not embarrassing. It must be nice to be so close to them. I'd never known my dad and the last time I had seen my mother was when I was fifteen."

The room went silent. I was pretty sure Carter didn't know what to say to that. I wasn't completely sure why I had even confessed that. 

"She has no idea what she's missing out on." He took my hand in his and squeezed gently. The gesture comforted me. 

"One day, I want to find her. When I'm ready, though. I want to find her and see what she's like now."

"Well, when you are ready, I'll help you find her."

"God, you're so nice to me. I can barely understand it myself on why you're such a . . . good person. It's amazing."

"I'm not that phenomenal. I just want people to be happy. It's probably because of my sister . . ." He didn't finish his sentence as he looked away. 

"What happened to her?" Curiosity got the best of me and I asked him. 

"She was younger than me. I was twenty two at the time, she was sixteen. She was an angel, the kindest thing to walk this Earth. One day, I had gotten home early and I knew she was supposed to be home. I went upstairs to her room and knocked but there was no reply so I went in and it was empty. The room was so neat, it wasn't normally like that. So I walked to her bathroom and the door was cracked open. There she was on the ground, wrists and neck slit open. She was immersed in this pool of blood that didn't seem to end." 

I gasped and hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Carter. You don't have to continue."

He embraced me back, holding me tightly to his chest. I could hear his heart beating erratically as he leaned his head against mine.