Barely Alive // TWD // Daryl Dixon

Chapter 26 -- Memories

"I held her gaze as I held her in my arms.
With all that holding I couldn't hold on to the moment, and it slipped past me into the lonely past."

-  Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

– Several Months Ago – CDC –

I knew things were bad but still I believed there was some kind of answer, there should be one but Jenner here just told us the world had gone to shit and they had no idea why or how it happened and most importantly, how to fix it.

"Man, I'm gonna get so faced drunk," I muttered as I ran my hands through my face and hair and started to walk away. "Again."

As I walked out I heard Dale asking about a clock that was going backwards but I didn't stay long enough to hear the answer. Instead, I headed to the kitchen and grabbed two sealed bottles of wine, which was the only alcoholic beverage around here, it wouldn't be my first choice but it was better than nothing.

With the two bottles in my hands I walked back to my room, Cecilia's bag was on the way, some of her things were already on the floor. I tried not to step on them and made my way to the couch, I sat down and opened the first bottle, leaving the other on the floor next to the couch.

I contemplated life and what had become of it as I started to drink. I didn't have much of a life a few weeks ago but at least I was safe, I didn't have to run and hide like a rat.

About twenty minutes later I heard the door being opened, I glanced at the direction quickly and saw Cecilia walking in. Before she could see me looking at her, I looked away and took a sip instead.

"Can I have some?" she asked me. I looked up at the girl and saw nothing but disappointment in those blue eyes of her, she looked crushed. I said nothing to her, I just brought the bottle to my lips and took a big sip from it, I heard her sigh at me as she sat in front of me on the cot I used to sleep the night before "What's your problem?"

"You are!" I said raising my voice a bit. She didn't flinch or even blinked, she just stayed there, staring at me, anyone would have at least gotten a bit farther from me. "You are just so annoying! Why don't you just leave me alone!?"

"What the hell are you talking about? We were okay last night, you brought me here, what changed?"

"I was just drunk!" I muttered with a slight shrug and took another sip.

"Go to hell!"

"I'm already in hell!" I exclaimed. "Why don't you just go with your friends or that kid, Sean? Just bugger off!"

I seriously wondered why she was here with me when she had those friends she claimed she couldn't live without and Glenn and her family and apparently she also had that idiot for a boyfriend, that Sean that believes he's the best at anything and the most handsome guy in the group, when he can't even hold a gun right.

"Is that what this is about?" she asked me in a calm tone again as she looked at me with an eyebrow raised at me. "Are you jealous?"

I almost chocked on the wine when I heard that. I had been told and been incriminated of many things but being jealous was never one of them, this was the first time I had ever heard that. I would have laughed in her face at her stupidity but I was too depressed for that.

"What?"

"Jealous." I heard her say again. "Of me and Sean."

"You are not just stupid but crazy as well, you are making up things in your head" I exclaimed as I looked her right in the eye as I pointed at my temple. I could swear I saw a flick of hurt in her eyes but I ignored it. "Why would I be jealous of him?"