The 2nd Book of Me

Growing Up

I've thought more and more about growing up the last few weeks than I ever have before. I see myself growing and changing, little by little, and sometimes I don't even notice. I totally believe the quote "life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself," and change by change that's exactly what I'm doing. I find a new favorite thing to wear and switch that. New music comes out and I listen to that. I read a new book, meet someone new, or something new comes up in school. Without me knowing, I'm growing up. And I'm creating myself.

It's crazy to think that I started out as a little kid and changed into a teenager. Yeah, it's life, and the world is overpopulated with people who grow just like me. But growing up, to me, has so much emotion and thought behind it. Believe it or not, I actually remember what it's like to be a kid. To have a broad imagination, and at the same time have the responsibility of figuring out life piece by piece. I remember how some things didn't make sense, and how I learned little by little. I compare the thought process from then to now. Now, I have so much life experience and knowledge about the world. About life. About people. And I'm not even 16 yet.

To learn and change is a gift. You start out as a fresh addition to the world, and through experience everything clicks. New things come in and out of life, and you build a personality for yourself through objects and interests. Feelings come and go--people do, too. And through all this comes another lesson learned, and another step climbed.

I've been thinking about college more for the last month or so. I received 4 or 5 emails and 3 pieces of mail from Bellarmine University, which is my dream college. Every time I read the emails or look through the mail, I think, wow. It would be a dream come true to go there. And the funny thing is, I'm not even a junior and already my eyes are to the sky. I'm in the process of changing right now, and I'm emotionally doing everything I need to to prepare myself for my future. I know what I have to do and how I need to prepare myself, and bit by bit college seems more real to me.

I sometimes hate when people say that they hate life and that life is boring. Even when I'm rushing to finish a paper in class, I still count that as a rarity and a blessing. One day, I won't go to high school anymore. Rushing to finish work is another puzzle piece in what I'll remember as my high school experience. Life is a drive through the country in the fall, where the leaves are beautiful and all you can do is look. I see myself sitting in the metaphorical car, and things like middle school come in memories like I'm looking out the window. I remember what clothes and shoes I wore, and who my friends were. It's all such a clear memory.

For some reason, I have really started to appreciate the life cycle. How everything happens, and how I document it. I look behind and see what's passed, and look ahead to see my future. And all the while, I'm walking right in the place I'm in.