Today was my last day in the hospital while I was waiting for my ride to come pick up Adelynn and I. I placed my baby girl in her car seat, this was the first time I got some alone time with her since I was swapped with visitors the time we were here. I just looked at her sleep she had a head full of curly hair, and the most beautiful hazel brown almond shaped eyes and pouty lips. She inherited the most favorite feature from her father, her smile and as much as I don't want to admit that.
"Hey..."
"Hey." I said. I placed her back in the car seat. "We are ready." I said. The nurse came in and gave me my discharge papers and escorted me out along with dad who couldn't stop looking at Adelynn.
When we got to the house I put her things away and went straight to the kitchen, the food that was in the hospital was not the best and I couldn't wait to get home and eat. He offered to stop by KFC or McDonalds but I wanted something just a little more healthier since I was breast feeding. He stayed in the living room with Adelynn while I was in the kitchen. I made some boiled cabbage, baked paramsan chicken, I mae myself and him a plate. He walked in with sleeping Adelynn, I gave him a smile and he smiled back. He looked good holding her and being gentle, it was weird that this is his child and were here right now.
"I made you something to eat." I said. passing him the plate across the island.
"Thanks but yo, I gotta head out and doing something....you want to take her you want me to put her in her chair?"
"Yea thats fine i am going to feed her in a minute." I said. I would be lying if i said i wasnt disappointed that he wasnt staying. I watched him place her in her bouncy seat and placed her next to me. He kissed her little hands and left. he didnt even say anything else, i felt like shit i looked over in the seat and watch my beautiful baby sleep. I wanted things to be better and i wanted them to work but i understand he needs his space, especially in the situation that i put him in.
I felt like my baby was possessed she cried all night unless she was being fed, or if her father was holding her. i was right now bouncing here and pacing the floor, it was like she hated me or something. I called him to see if he could come and be with her for a minute while i got at least an hour of sleep. My dad woiuld come on his break from work, and Mam Ma would also come by she was quiet for all those people except me. I looked down at her she was finally sleep, i slowly walked over to the couch and sat down. As soon as I did the door bell rung and she was back up hollering.
"Oh please Adelynn..." I said i walked over to the door and opened it. "Thank god please she wont stop crying and i did everything and she is still crying , its like she hates me or something.She stopped crying for everyone except me and i dont know why." i cried. Chris came in the door and closed it behind him.
"sssshhhhhh...look she stopped crying." i stopped crying and looked down at her and sure enough she was looking at me. I wanted to scream but instead i just continued to cry, Chris took her out my arms and walked over to the couch. He looked at me and motioned for me to come and sit down, i walked over and plopped on teh couch. "She doesnt hate you." He said.
"Yes she does, i am exshausted i haven't had a good sleep in four days, barely can take a shwoer with all the damn hollering she is doing." I said. I was so damn exsahusted i loved my daughter but she was acting like a straight brat and she was only three weeks old. When i wipped my face and looked at him he was smiling. "What is so funny?"
"you."
"I am happy i can amuse you....i am going to bed." I started to get up but he pulled me back down.
"Come on dont be like that....listen i got something that might help." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a pink pacifer. Why the hell did i not think of that shit, urgh i am so damn stupid.
