The Day They Disappeared

Chapter 5

I adjusted my tie in the full length mirror before taking a good long look at myself. Here I was again, all dressed up in black and white with a million thoughts running through my head. I don't want to be doing this. I don't think I can do this. But I have to.

~~~~~

I couldn't bring myself to even come near Danielle's casket. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to anybody who came up to me expressing how sorry they were for my family and I. All I could really do was nod, shake some hands, and pretend like this was any other funeral. Who was I kidding though? This wasn't like any other funeral. This is my dead baby sister's funeral. This wasn't normal.

I gave up on acting normal and friendly and retreated outside. I sat down on the curb with my head in my hands thinking about everything that happened. I felt like I was suffering more than anybody. I lost my best friend and my sister. Sure, they both could be beyond annoying at any given moment but I'd be lying if I said I didn't love them both to death.

"I'm 17 years old for Christ sakes! Why is this happening to me?" I screamed at the sky. Tears welled up in my eyes as ran my fingers through my hair harshly.

"I'm only 18 and yet I have to deal with this pain too. You aren't alone." My head snapped up to match a face to the voice. It was Ali stood in front of me sporting a black and white dress and red, irritated eyes. It looked as if she had been crying too. I wiped my eyes.

"Life isn't fair." I responded coldly.

"I've heard that line before." Ali sat next to me on the curb and looked me up and down.

"You look like a hot mess."

"You shouldn't be talking." I said with a smile playing on my lips.

She laughed lightly. "Yeah, I know."

I nodded my head slowly and looked down at my hands.

"I think we need to be here for each other. Clearly our families are all sorts of screwed up right now and I think we both feel alone. I know we both feel alone. I think this is God's way of helping us heal."

I laughed bitterly. "God? You can believe in God at a time like this?" I felt Ali put a delicate hand on my arm.

"Yes, of course I can. This is happening for a reason. God has a plan for everyone."

"And you expect me to believe God would plan to have innocent children murdered." I glanced over at Ali and she had an ashamed look on her face.

"I'm not saying--" I cut her off.

"I don't care what you're saying. What you're trying to say."

We both remained silent for what seemed like hours but in reality was probably only ten minutes. "You're right." I looked over at the small blonde girl, confused.

"God would never want to bring unnecessary harm to the creatures he created. This wasn't his plan and whoever did this will burn in the eternal fires of Hell. But this is the path we are on now and he will help us through. I believe bringing us together at a time when we both feel so terribly alone is the first step in our journey. I think we should stick together, Will. We need company. We need friends. We need somebody to understand. I think we can help each other." She looked at me with big, hopeful eyes.

"Yeah. I do need that. We need that." I looked up at her, biting my lip. "I'll be here for you if you'll be here for me."

"I'll be here for you even if you decide not to be there for me." She gave me a small smile and I nodded before looking back down at the ground.

"What are you thinking about?" Without looking up I answered her question.

"My gram used to tell me that my mom used to be so happy and good. She said that my mom always wore a smile on her face but after her sister's death she became a different person. She already had Nick and was pregnant with me when it happened. She wanted a girl so badly so she could name her to honor her sister. But, uhm, she had me. I guess I wasn't enough because she went and tried so hard to have Danielle. Nick, my brother, used to tell me that she would pace around every night yelling at my dad after her miscarriage. Then she had Danielle. She was perfectly fine. Healthy and all. Nick said that she was so happy for awhile until her dad passed. Then she got back into this funk she was in before. I guess she decided to stay that way instead of trying to find a way to heal." I glanced up at Ali.

"That's so...sad."

"I don't want to be like her. I don't want to let my things ruin my entire life. I want to grow up and have a wife and kids. I want to be a father. I want to be the father that my father wasn't. I want my children to have a mother that wants to be the opposite of my mother. I want a happy life and a strong family. One that can get through anything to together. I won't let this tear me apart. Danielle's death, I mean. And Lucas'. This town, these people, these situations, they aren't going to break me." I looked at Ali who was staring at the ground sadly and I pushed her chin up with my finger so she was looking at me. "I don't want this town and these people and these situations to break you. You can overcome anything and everything that God puts in your path. I believe in you."

Ali broke down into tears and I pulled her close to me. In the quietest whisper ever she spoke. "Thank you."