It's Not Your Fault- Armin x Reader

Why?

And then you woke up.

You shot up in your bed knowing that you woke up at least one other cadet. They were used to it by now so they just ignored it. You were okay with it as it was your problem and the shouldn't have to feel burdened to help you with your issues.

    "Sorry guys. It happened again." you said to nobody in particular.

    As you expected you didn't get an answer, It's not that they weren't your friends but they just got used to it happening. You felt tears start to stream down your cheeks. The nightmares have been happening for weeks. No matter what you tried you couldn't get them to stop. But you couldn't take it any longer.

    You reached into your bedside table and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. Settling against the wall on your bed you started writing:

To Whoever Decides to Read This,
    I'm sorry that it has to come to this, but I can't stand it any longer. The nightmares get worse every night and I can't get it to stop. I don't want you to take pity on me. It was my fault I lost them. Rita couldn't get her ODM gear because of me, and I was busy looking for Marco back in Trost so I couldn't protect Maya. To that I have no one to blame but myself. Please don't blame Sawney and Bean for what they will do to me, as it's only in a titan's nature to kill humans. This is my choice, but I won't do anything until, let's say 5ish if you want to say anything to me. I will have no regrets but I love and will miss all of you.

                                Love,
                                [y/n] ♡

    You set the letter down on your bed as you made your way to your dresser. You pulled out everything for your uniform, besides those goddamn straps. You also grabbed your towel, soap, brush, toothpaste, and toothbrush as you walked to the showers.

~Mikasa's POV~

    I watched as [y/n] got her uniform and left. From what she was carrying I assumed she was going to shower, but this early in the morning seemed out of character for her. Especially the way she was walking with such a calm but nervous vibe to her. I decided to get out of bed to look at the note she wrote.

    "Oh my god..." was all I managed to say as I ran towards the boy's bunks.

    "Eren! Armin! Get up!"

    "Mikasa what the hell?" Eren complained.

    "It's 3:30 in the morning, what's wrong?" Armin said as he looked at the clock.

    I grabbed both of them by their collars and pulled them out of their beds to bring them outside. Everybody else was up in there now and I didn't want them to know and ruin what we could do to stop her.

    "It's about [y/n]." was all I said as I shoved the note into Armin's chest for him to read.

    I watched his eyes look over the paper. By the time he finished he looked like he was on the verge of crying. We walked back inside as he gave the note back to me.

    "Jean, Reiner, get up and get over here." Armin said in a voice that made him sound like he was up to something.

    We walked back outside and made sure nobody was listening. It took a while to explain everything and getting prepared, but everything will work out. Right?

~Normal POV~

    As you stepped into the showers you thought you heard Mikasa yelling for Eren and Armin.

    "Must be hearing things again [y/n]." you mumbled to yourself.

    You started to take off your sorry excuse for pajamas: a tie-dyed t-shirt and blue running shorts. You undid your braided hair leaving it in long [h/c] waves, then took off your necklace.

(No I don't care if you don't have long hair, just pretend you don't lol)

    "It's only fair that I give this to someone that I care about." you mumbled, slipping it into the pocket of your jacket.

    You stepped into the shower and took your time. Once you were done you brushed your hair, teeth, put on your uniform, and went back to the girls bunk. Before you opened the door you thought you heard someone walking around inside, but it stopped when you went to open the door. You walked in, not seeing anything out of place.

    "Oh..." you said to yourself as you saw the note in it's original spot on the bed.

    You mentally slapped yourself. Nobody would be up this early to listen to your complaining. You sat down on your bed and took another piece of paper with an envelope out. Picking up your pen you wrote:

Armin,
    As you are reading this, I know I am now gone from this world. Please don't, or anybody else, spend your time mourning me. It was my choice and I don't want to keep being a burden, even in death. You are one of the nicest people I've ever met and I care about you so much. This wasn't how I had imagined telling you this but look at where we are, hahaha.... I will be honest when I say that I will miss not being able to look out for you physically on the next expedition, but just know that I will always be watching over you and Eren and Mikasa, and everyone else. I hope you find a really nice girl one day and she makes you really happy. If not I guess I'll come back as a ghost and haunt her until she loves you. Make sure everyone lives long, happy lives and just know that I love you. Ever since I met you on the boat I knew you were special. This is why I left you what I did in the envelope. I wish you and everyone else the best of luck in life. You will live to see the outside world.

                                Love,
                                [y/n] ♡

    You placed the necklace in the envelope after the letter was put in and wrote "Armin Arlert" on the front. You didn't really know if you loved him they way he loved you, so you just thought to write it to give him some sort of hope. For some reason something told you to slip it underneath your mattress. You looked up at the clock. It read 4:20. (ayee) After all of that you started the long walk towards where Hanji kept her lab rats.

I'm actually wondering if I should keep going with this. I have a shit ton more of this already written but I'm just nervous about this kind of stuff so lemme know if you wanna see more and peace ✌️